three friends are chilling one day and they all think they belong in Guinness book of world records the first guys says i believe i have the smallest arms in the world, the second guy says i believe i have the smallest nose in the world and the third guy says i hate to admit it but i believe i have the smallest dick in the world. So they all go down to Guinness book of world records inc. and the first guy comes out and says "YES I DO HAVE THE SMALLEST ARMS IN THE WORLD" the second guy comes out and says "YES I DO HAVE THE SMALLEST NOSE IN THE WORLD" the third guy comes out all depressed and mad and says "WHO THE HELL IS JUSTIN BIEBER"

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Why is the chicken dead? It tried to cross the road.

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A flea walks into a bar. Nobody notices because it is a very small insect

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What would Jesus do? Something worthy of having him nailed to a cross.

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I have a joke. Okay, tell me. Just kidding

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Why can't Amy Winehouse sing? She's dead.

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Why doesn't little billy eat his vegetables at the dinner table... Because billy has bin dead for 3 years

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Why did Johnny fall down? Because I threw tropical fruit at him.

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"knock knock" "Come in"

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You know whats worse than finding 3 dead children in your house? Finding 2 dead children in your house.

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Fart

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What does the funeral director say at a jewish funeral? Ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes to ashes...

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Once upon a time, there was a horse that had no legs, it laid on the ground it's entire life and died. The end.

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where does someone with one leg work? -no where this is a recession

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24

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What's worse than being a ginger? Being a soulless ginger

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Feminine hygiene jokes aren't funny. Period

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How do you make a plumber cry? Tell him that Luigi beat him to the princess

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Q. Whats Brow and rhymes with Snoop? A Dr. Dre

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A man sat on a chair

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple.

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Well Nero, my actual name is Axel Knight, I might have used your "moralman" identity as my own social experiment of sorts, I mean no offense, and if you will leave some contact information, I am sure we can arrive to some kind of settlement... ...Keep your identity crisis thing, I have absolutely no reason to continue communicating here, besides, its six million followers, actually more like seven...

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Whats the worst part of your school burning down? A: The burnt pizza.

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So you are "The Nero" are you not? How ironic... ...I got nothing on you, let me ask you however, why did you quit the underground society? What changed your lifestyle so much? I mean I accept that you did not do it out of fear or cowardice, but why did you leave it up to the rest of us to try to hold together the last remains of freedom and social information? What? To use your techniques in order to entrance people into buying your books? How is that so different? I am not saying that I consider your methods lesser, because nobody here does, but if you can explain how this makes you better, I would appreciate it, I am certain that most people would.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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