whats green at the bottom of a hole and covered in cookie crumbs a girl scout run over by a truck

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A mans wife gets pregnant after he has a visectomy... She was artificially inseminated using sperm he froze before the operation

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'll choke you with a hose

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Dyslexics are teople poo

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Why did the homeless man get a house key cut? He didn't he's homeless.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? I don't know it depends on how hard you throw them.

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Why did little Johnny fall off his swing? He had no arms.

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How did Chinese people get their names? They throw their pots and pans down the stairs. It says, "CHING CHANG CHONG!!!"

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Why did the boy sharpen his pencil it was dull

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. A family is tied-up and screaming for help in my basement.

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Do your parents know you're gay?

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How do you say vampire in spanish? Vampiro.

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What do you call a blonde who tries to swim on land? - Stupid.

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What's the hardest part about watching a 2 year old get hit by a bus? Trying not to laugh.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? The Landlord. Your rent's late.

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Why did the mouse cross the road? Because he had been attached to the chicken with a nail gun.

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When Chuck Norris does a push up, he pushes himself up which puts resistance on his arms and therefore strengthens his arm muscles and performs physical exercise.

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what looks, smells, and sounds like red paint? blue paint, I lied about it being red

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter what you call him he isn't coming anyway!!!!

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What's worse than stepping on a Lego? Leukemia

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What's worse than a dog peeing on your new flower garden? A terrorist attack.

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why did the chicken cross the road? it was suicidal.

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Hey

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Timothy started school at an elementary and was in the fourth grade. His teacher was Ms Bradshaw, and he liked his class. One day as he was going into class, Ms Bradshaw asked everybody, "what's worse than biting into an apple with a worm in it?" Timothy raised his hand and said "the holocaust." The teacher went to her desk and pulled out a desert eagle and shot Timothy five times in the face and raped his dead body

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops