A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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A guy walks into a toilet store and there are 3 left 1is silver 1 is wood and 1 talks he took the one that talks. the next day he is shitting and he hears the toilet "do you see what i see

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Why was Mrs. Clause mad at Santa Clause? Because he was hanging out with three hoes, Ho, Ho, and Ho

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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24

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Whats the difference between a black man and a pizza? One has a complex circulatory system the other is a pizza.

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Q: How do you make scrach paper? A: Take a paper and scrach it.

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What did the black man say about Linkin Park? That there's obviously a rapist in their midst and they should all be questioned.

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Why do Asian Women have small boobs? Because anything under A is unacceptable.

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Black People

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Q: How did the robber steal a laptop from best buy? A: With his hands

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Yo Momma Is Soooo Fat She Is Highly Obese

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A possesed goat: "moo"

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what do you call jerry sandusky with a kid in a shower jerry sandusky

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I hate cripple jokes! I just can't stand them!

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What do you call somebody pimping out their bitches for very large amounts of money???? A dog breeder.

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What do you call a dead man in a ditch? Phil.

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What's the difference between Santa Claus and Tiger Woods? Santa Claus is a fictional old man who flies around delivering gifts, while Tiger Woods is a professional golfer.

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This is a haiku A lovely type of poem It's snowing on Mt. Fuji

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whats worse than vegetables? Fisting Grandmas

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What do you say to two cows? Hey cows.

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Religion.

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Why was Newton surprised when the apple fell on his head? Because he was sitting under a pear tree.

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If I threw a regular snowball at a random snowman, would my action directly result in the increase of the snowman's size or would it rather have caused to snowball to become substantially larger in succession? Only a few people could answer that question. Not all of us are actually philosophy aficionados after all.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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