3 men walk into a bar. they all take a cab home to keep from having an accident due to their intoxication.

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My name is Nero, Angelo Nero, its Italian (or rather Roman) For Black Angel, and yes it is my real name, you will believe me once you see my passport, driving license, mastercard whatever, I am 32 years old and I wont tell you my last name because at this rate... You could probably just google me up and find it yourself. Seriously, I am latino you know that, romantic is in my veins, but hey, you never told me you liked that so if we agreed to sex, that was what I was going with... I did tell you that sex is kinda meh for me without the romance factor. The thing about your name being Tifa, is that you look A LOT like the video game character, I mean come on! You even got red eyes! (okay hers may be a brownish red but come on!) You should post a picture of yourself online and see how many guys find you really sexy... Then again, dont, I want you for myself. Sorry this is taking some time, I dont get any of these solvemedia crapcraps

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Q: What's the biggest lie ever? A: Saying you read the Terms of Service

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't, he got hit by a bus.

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Why did the blind boy cross the road? Why? The world may never know. He was hit by a bus

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This is an anti-anti-joke.

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Why did the black guy buy spray paint? To paint his fence, to keep it from rotting away.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Lettuce. THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE! AAAAHHHH!

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What do you call an 8 year-old with no friends? A Sandy Hook survivor

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What's funnier than Justin Bieber dying in a car accident? Nicky Minaj being in the same car.

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what did the jew say when the arab threw rocks at him? He didnt, the israeli air force proceeded to fire white phosphorous missiles and annihalated many small children and babies in the process, the aftermath is still around today.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I shit my pants do you want my poo.

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Did you hear about that superman guy? He died.

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what starts with P and ends with u-b-e-s? Paul, can you brang me some priangles and the rest of my Rubik's cubes?

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What's the difference between a trampoline and a pile of dead babies? I have to take off my boots to jump on the trampoline.

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Why did the virgin jerk until his hand was raw? He didn't have lotion.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No Neither has Stevie

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What did my wife say when I asked her to pick up some milk on her way home from work? OK

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Two muffins are baking in an oven. One turns to the other and says, "Boy, it sure is hot in here!" The other one replies, "OMG, A TALKING MUFFIN!"

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What has a mouth but cant talk Helen keller What has eyes but cant see Helen keller What has ears but cant hear You guessed it an ear of corn

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What do you call a black mailman? By his name.

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How do you get four gay guys to sit on a stool? Ask them kindly to do so. Their sexual orientation is of little to no importance in this situation.

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I was walking down the street and a guy fell down right next to me. He woke up a hour later and asked "what smells like year old cat pee?" I said "year old cat pee retard honestly." Then he died. Morale don't ask questions you don't want to know the answers to.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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