How do you make an electrician cry? You kidnap him and his mother, tie them both to chairs in your garage, and force him to watch you stab his mother repeatedly in the face while laughing and licking up her blood and tears. Then cut his arms and legs off, lock him in a cage with his mothers body, and go in there everyday and eat a delicious meal while watching him starve to death next to his dead mother.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

what do you call a mexican in a coffee shop? a customer and/or worker in the coffee shop.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you call 25 college teens at a party? A good time.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A squirrel and an owl are sitting in a tree. The squirrel turns to the owl and says nothing, because it is a squirrel and squirrels can't talk. The owl turns to the squirrel and eats it, because it is a bird of prey.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

I dont know if you know this but i have a penis

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A black man, a jewish man and a white man walk into a bar. The black man shoots the bartender, the white man takes the money and the jewish man holds the customers hostage.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did the comedian tell the audience? A well thought out joke that anyone can relate to because that is what the point of a joke is.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What is 1+1? It's 2!

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why didn't Jimmy ever get his butt of the couch? His butt was nailed to it and he was also dead. Why didn't his parents save him? they died before he did.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Where did Susie go during the bombing? EVERYWHERE

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Q: What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A: A pilot you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

I just missed my bus. At least I haven't got cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Jimmy wet his pants in class during geography class. The teacher asked: "Oh Jimmy, why did you do that?" Jimmy answered: "I don't know" Everyone laughed at him and Jimmy went home very sad. And with wet pants.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. Where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did little Timmy find at the bottom of the well? The fact that he could no longer breathe and thus causing him to drown.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do gay guys eat? Normal food like every other human being.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Q: What's worse than a dead baby? A: A dead baby with diarrhea.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How many hours of sleep did Jimmy get last night? Zero, because he has insomnia. Jimmy got fired from his job today because of his lack of energy and motivation due to his disorder. His wife divorced Jimmy because he can no longer support her and their two kids.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

vaginas are pretty!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did Sarah limp to school? Because she got hit by a tree

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb? 1

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did the white man do when he got a black eye? He thanked the gracious african-descented donor, and with a little luck he just might see his beautiful wife and kids again

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops