kknocckkck knockckkckccck hue's theeeair? TTThhe pOOOliCCee. fffor whaaa? yyouu rr arreesstedd forrr drrunkkkc dddrivvinnng! Puuut urerre frreaakkki'n hannnddss uppp!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why dont black people go on cruise ships Theyre not falling for that one again

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Well Erron, its your lucky day then. I wont even ask what a cream pie is.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why was Martha put in a wheelchair? She was hit by a rabid cabbage.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

After thinking hard for a very long time, the pig realized he was a fat, worthless piece of shit.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How do you make time fly? Develop a flying suit to put on a sun dial.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did little Jonny drop his ice cream? He was his by a bus? Why did the Kuala fall out the tree? Because it died.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down -23

68

thumb_up thumb_down -25

One day, a mother was speaking with her daughters. "Mommy," the first one said, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we brought you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second daughter said, "Why did you name me Rose?" ""Because when we brought you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMBWWAAAAGGGH!" the last daughter cried. She was born with severe special needs and is incapable of coherent speech.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did the Jew rob the bank? -He was a criminal.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why wasn't the girl raped? Cause she wasn't attractive.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

im a willy bum bum

thumb_up thumb_down -25

If this joke were a potato I would be very confused

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Yeah, and speaking about spiderman, I got some weird senses, when I get stressed things begin seeming slower, and gets a weird blur effect, not sure what it is, but if you know what "bullet hell video games are" Technically games where you play as a tiny spaceship and lots of bullets fly around, I was always awesome at those games as a kid, because the more stress I felt while playing, the slower my perception of time felt.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

roses are red violets are blue most poems rhyme but this one doesnt

thumb_up thumb_down -25

two tomatos walked over the road and..... just kidding tomatos can't walk.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

I was thinking... Love conquers all right? Remember the epic crying video? Satan: Because... Some where deep inside... I still love you... God:BUUUUUUUUUUAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHAAAAUuuuaaaahhh... (Partially invisible effect hand of Satan pats God on the back) The universe is at peace with no opposing forces and I am Nerometal, not that asshole that claims to have one fist and is the leader of some sect, I am and will always be the original Moralman, my name simply happens to be Nero, and thats it, so I am not dissing the bible, why would I none of my business literally, but if love can be tha powerful eh?

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why couldn't Hellen Keller watch TV? Because at 19 months she contracted what is believed to be scarlet fever which caused an acute congestion of the stomach and brain which caused her to loose sight and hearing.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

How did the young child react when a bullet went through his head? He fell to the ground and his heart stopped beating.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Q. How many jews can you fit in a car? A. depending on the car size and make, oh and the size of the ash tray is also important

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Where do you go when you die? Nowhere

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What is worse than finding a worm in ur apple Idk I am asking u

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why is the horny toad named that way? Because its a misnomer of the horned lizard.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops