Did you hear the joke about Helen Keller? No. You don't need to, it's quite inappropriate.

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life is a barrel of tomatoes...unless you paint them blue.

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how do you get a cat out of a tree? with boomerangs

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There once were 2 cowboys who were lost on a dusty trail. Later on they found their way out and are now doing very successful

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a truck on the way.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Three jews walk into a bar. The bar is hosting a bar mitzvah.

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What did the boy with cancer get for Christmas? An amputation.

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Hello.

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What do you get when you cross professor plum with a candle stick in the library? A dead prostitute. Try and be more careful next time.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, your hair smells nice, especially when woven into a sweater.

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what's purple and tastes like a grape? a grape.

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Q. What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? A. Robin, get in the car.

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What happens to a black man when he jumps into a pool of clorox? He turns white!

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whats the difference between and clorox wipe and a paper towel? a clorox wipe is wet.

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A woman walks into a bar She is raped.

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why didn't the chicken cross the road? there are no roads in factory farms.

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why did jimmy win the lottery? WAFFLE

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Q: Why did the koala fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead

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A man is shipwrecked on a desert island. One day, he finds an old lamp. When he rubs it, a genie appears. The genie says, "You have freed me. As a reward, I will grant you three wishes." The man smacks himself in the face and mutters, "Oh god, I'm seeing genies now. I must be delirious from lack of food and water." Several hours later, he dies.

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Whis a racist rapist etter than a non-racist rapist? less women getting raped

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How do you make a blond shut up? Staple her tongue to the roof of her mouth and super-glue her lips together.

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A middle-aged white woman is walking toward a building, talking on her cellphone to a friend. She says, "Yes, I can meet you for lunch in a few hours. I have to go to the unemployment office to sign up for benefits. It's going to be horrible. It'll probably be full of black people." Standing in line, she is incredibly uncomfortable and horrified, because there is a black man right behind her, and she is stuck standing next to him for a long time. Finally it's her turn, and she steps up to the counter. The clerk asks her, "And what did you do for a living?" She answers, "I mopped the floors and cleaned the bathroom in a Blockbuster store that closed down." The clerk says, "Fill out this paperwork and take it to window #2." As she turns around, she is once more repulsed by the black man who is standing right there. Now that it's his turn, he steps to the counter, and the clerk asks him, "And what did you do for a living?" He answers, "I was the senior vice president of global strategic development for Eastman Kodak."

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What do Native Indians and Asian Indians have in common? They're both human.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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