What did the bat say to the human? Nothing because bats make too high of frequency noises for humans to understand

Why wasn't the man wearing a life vest? Because he was sleeping.

How do you address a gay, jewish, african male? You can't, as addressing a person would imply mailing them. And that would violate their human rights. As well, the cost of shipping a package of that size would be rather prohibitive

I hate it when people pour my cereal. They don't know how much I want. They don't know my life. They don't know what I've been through.

What is the best game in the world? There is no answer because that would be an opinion and opinions cannont be proved or measured.

What do you call three mexicans in a bowl of soup? Whatever their respective names might happen to be.

Why was the sex offender sweating in the playground? Because he was pushing his over weight son on the swing.

A Jewish, Italian, and Russian man are stranded on an island. Eventually the Russian man dies from heatstroke, leaving the other two to decide whether or not to feast on his remains. The Italian eventually goes mad and tries to murder the Jewish man who is forced to defend himself and kill his remaining friend. Shortly after, the Jewish man is eventually rescued by a passing German vessel after suffering severe dehydration and malnourishment and hanging on only by his faith in God. As they are leading him to safety, the Jewish man eventually summons the strength to tell his saviors about the horrible things he has done and all he has gone through, not knowing if he'll ever be able to forgive himself. His German rescuers take one awkward look at him, and don't know what to say to help him, leading afterwards to several years of PTSD therapy and rehabilitation.

why did the fat guy become fat ...COD..

how do jews pay for a $1200 Tv. they play $1000.

Stop. Seriously stop.

What's dumber than a black guy that can't read? Two black guys that can't run with TVs.

Why was the little boy late to school Cause he walked on a landmine

uhyuyuyhyuuuhuyuhh rice crispies

A man finds a woman stumbling around on the street... So he asks sarcastically "what drugs are you on?" The lady starts crying and says "I was raped"

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

Knock knock. I know who is there... What? No, I lied...

Why did the black man die? A white man killed him. He was a member of the KKK.

What did the guy at the office order on his pizza. Pepperoni :)

Why is a chicken coupe, a coupe not a sedan? Because a sedan would have four doors.

What's red but smells like blue paint? Red paint.

Why don't you play uno with Mexicans? Because they collect all the green cards.

What did America get on the 11th September? 9/11

Your mother's so fat that when she goes through rotating doors, the doors rotate around her.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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