What did the man with Alzheimer's get for Christmas? Happy New Year!

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You know what's funnier than 24? 25.

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How many Jews can you fit in an ashtray? None

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Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar. Several occupants leave as they realise the danger of the large animal.

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What happens when you leave Toby alone in your house? He eats your carpet, some pillows, ur dog, ned, neds dog and a glass panel. This is why 2 +h = plugger +Mount Everest (I is potato annoying). Bonjour.

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What did the man say to the teacup? Nothing. He was drunk and on the floor.

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Why did the paraplegic roll his wheelchair up a steep hill? Because he's crippled.

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What's brown and has four wheels? Wood, I lied about the wheels.

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whats red with blue spots and is highly inteligent? an apple. i lied to you and am sorry

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What's hotter than a hot girl? The sun.

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Doctor: I got bad news and worse news Patient: Whats the bad news? Doctor: You have 24 hours to live Patient: Whats the worse news? Doctor: Your mom died this morning

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What do you call a black guy with no hair? Bald

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Knock, Knock Whos there? Docter Docter who? Yes its me, Craig Who your docter, I have the test results back Im afriad its positive,you've only got a few months left

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i love weed i fuc king really do i fuc king love smoking weed with you.And i love a fat spliff and i love a fat bong why cant we all just sing along!!!

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whats orange, green and has a treadmill attached to it? a cantaloupe, i lied about the treadmill.

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GONNA

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A vegetarian walked into a butcher Luckily he realized where he was and walked out!

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if bob has 400 pieces of chocolate and eats 200 chocolates how many does he have left. none he died from diabetes

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There are 100 men enjoying a cruise to celebrate an important contract going through at their place of employment. The boat then suffers a major malfunction and tragically sinks to the bottom of the ocean, miles from any land masses. Not a single man died, how is this possible? They all used the lifeboats supplied on the boat and followed the standard procedure to deal with such a crisis.

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?J?o?k?e?

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Knock knock. Who's there? Alzheimer. Alzheimer who? Knock knock.

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Once upon of time there was a chicken. It crossed the road and everybody made fun of him. The End

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Jerry: Hey, do you smell that? It kinda smells like updog. Moe: What's updog?

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Q: How do you confuse a blonde? A: Tell her something that doesn't make any sense at all.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops