Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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how do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the brake

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Want to hear a dirty joke? Mud.

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Whats a welfare? Its what keeps you alive.

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potatoes

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Whats the difference between Justin Bieber and Lady Gaga? one of them is a women the other one is not.

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what is the diference between a jew and a boy scout. a boy scout comes home from camp.

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Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because its head is so far away from its body.

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Why was the frog sad? Because he had a boy's face stapled to his feet.

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How do you get a boy out of bed, you cut off his fingers.

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My friend died by getting shot in the head. But he respawned back at his checkpoint.

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When did the War of 1812 begin? 1963.

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What is 9 inches long, the same colour as my skin, and makes my girlfriend gag when I shove it down her throat? Her Miscarriage.

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Roses are red... Violets are blue... Unless your colour blind.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? He didn't, the farm this chicken was on had fences bordering it to avoid this very situation.

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Patient: Doctor Doctor I think I have HIV! Doctor: Wtf to that one...

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So after 2 years of dating, the man thought the woman actually loved him. So to find out they took a ski trip and during their day they were on the chairlift and the man asked the woman "Do you love me?" The woman replied "No...I'm just in it for the sex, but that's a nice ski mask you have on"

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knock knock a man walks into a bar what do you call a horse with no legs dave who?

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Whats sad about a city bus full of black people exploding. NOTHING

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Why black guys are the fasttest runners? Because the slowers are already in prison

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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Why do black people enjoy watermelon? Because it tastes good.

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Ask me if i'm a fish. Are you a fish? Do I look like a fish?

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Whats worse than getting punched in the balls? Getting punched in the balls twice.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops