How do you kill a cancer patient? Throw a fridge at him.

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What does 2 + 2 equal? 4

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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A man walks into a bar. He sees two horses, and about 15 other men in there which seem to have their own ethnicity and religion preferences. About 20 people on the sidelines were on anti-joke.com, writing down these jokes. About two leave at the same time, noticing that there is a horse in the bar. The man goes outside. Five swingsets are right next to each other, and some kids with no arms or no legs cannot swing. They are also being called names. An old adult is climbing a telephone pole with a backpack full of bananas. Also, a boy drops his ice cream after getting hit by a bus. And at the same time, he notices that most of these are better than the holocaust. He thinks, "do I live in Crazytown?" Well, he does.

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Why is it interesting to watch your mum shower? It's Not, its sick you pervert

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frogs are green and grass is greener i just blew up ur mom and ur the cleaner now get to work SLAVE

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John Travolta goes to the supermarket..

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Well Erron, its your lucky day then. I wont even ask what a cream pie is.

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Why did the handicap man scream for help? Because he fell out of his wheel chair

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hot diggity dog

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What do you call a smart blond? A golden retriever!

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A man walks into a bar, and says "ow."

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple

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Why did the Flintstones have Christmas? The Flintstones celebrated Christmas because the creator, William Hanna, celebrated it. As it is a kids TV show, you can't expect it to be factually correct.

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The other day, I broke my snare drum.... I still haven't fixed it and am planning on doing so soon.

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How do you make time fly? Develop a flying suit to put on a sun dial.

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A Muslim walked into a bar....nothing happened

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what's worse than getting beaten by police? Getting beaten by Russian police

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What do you get when you cross a rusty nail and a foot? Tetanus

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What was the leg less and armless mans favorite type of music? Nubstep

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What did the terminally sick child dream of? I dont know. He never woke up to tell me.

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What is it called when a whole bunch of black people run down a hill? A race.

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A school bus full of orphans falls of a cliff.

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Joker2? Who comes up with the names anyways? Sounds like a stupid version of the matrix... Anyways, I stutter because my nerves are killing me, I cant quit the painkillers cold turkey if I cant sleep without them, besides I am used to physical pain as tragic as that might sound... Its not when you get used to it. I need to know who this Neo-Nero was, for anyone that can tell me, he is not around here at these hours, and during the time he/she I was dead, did considerable damage to my and my orders reputation, I need a face to face talk to someone that would put aside my chosen successor and assume my role, and I wont let that happen again even if it means bruising up this Neo-me a bit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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