Why are black people so tall? Jesus was also black and therefore gives black people some favorable traits.

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I had a chocolate chip cookie today, thats it, just a chocolate chip cookie.

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You read the Terms of Service.

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Yo mama so fat when she looked at the scale it said to be continued

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What do you call a room with a white man a black man and a hot pocket? A reasonable meal

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How do you get a Jew in a car? Ask him to get in. How do you get him out? (If they say tell him to get out) Tell him Hitler is driving (If not) Ask him to kindly step out of the vehicle.

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What did the woman do when her husband told her to make him a sandwich? She made him a sandwich promptly.

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What Do You Call The White House When Obama Is President? What? The White House.

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Person 1: Can I ask you a question? Person 2: You just did.

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? Whatever you like, it can't hear you.

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Why did the boy die? He had cancer.

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A planes crashes on the US-Canada border. The survivors are promptly taken to a hospital nearby to be treated for their injuries.

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A man walks into a bar and says ouch.

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What's funny about a small child with no arms, no legs? Nothing.. Nothing at all.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a dog in your apple

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What goes in your mouth long and hard, and comes out soft and sticky? A stick of bubblegum.

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Bob: What's red and goes ding-a-ling? Trudy: A red ding-a-ling? Bob: Yes. What's blue and goes ding-a-ling? Trudy: A blue ding-a-ling? Bob: No, they only come in red.

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That awkward moment when you wonder why this person keeps stepping on you, and you realize that you’re a shoe.

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Knock knock Who's there? Impatient Hellen Keller. Impatient Hellen Keller who? ...

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What do you call it when you eat cheese that's not yours? Stealing.

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Why did the first Monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second Monkey fall out of the tree? He was tied to the first Monkey. Why did the third Monkey fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game.

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So a Dog walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a glass of skotch, the bartender realizes he must be dreaming. At that very moment he realises he is in a lucid dream. Since this is the case he decides to murder his wife who is in bed right next to him as an expiriment. Since its a lucid dream it doesnt matter. Next he goes down to the fridge and pulls out some old pizza. He sits down for about half an hour eating it along with a box of tuis that also magically appeared in his fridge. Then he goes outside steals the neighbours car takes it for a ride to his Sister-In-Laws house who he has always wanted to root. He goes over breaks the window with his hand. The lucid dream feels so real to him because he pains from the glass in his hand and then he goes up stairs finds his sister-in-law sleeping so he hops into bed with her. At the same moment the police arrive because they followed him from his home were they recieved complants they heard him kill his wife. Everything starts to turn into a nightmare, so scared he trys to make himself wake up. However he cannot. This is not a lucid dream. This is reality. Pizza was in his fridge because he had it for dinner the night before, Beer did not magically appear. his wife had bought it when she went gorccery shopping. He killed his wife, then stole his neighbours car and attempted to rape his Sister-in-law. So now he is going to jail. And no lawyer wants to take up the case so this man is doomed. No hope at all of ever being a free man again

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A man walked into a bar. He was meeting his friends but was 30 minutes early so he went down the road to buy some food. He had recently began dieting after watching a series of lifestyle programs which informed him of the potential risks involved with high cholesterol and blood pressure levels. He purchased a garden salad and a freshly squeezed orange juice, and made it back to the bar in time to meet his friends.

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What did the doctor say to the man with cancer? You have cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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