Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a truck on the way.

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Three jews walk into a bar. The bar is hosting a bar mitzvah.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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how do you get a cat out of a tree? with boomerangs

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Roses are red, violets are blue, your hair smells nice, especially when woven into a sweater.

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what's purple and tastes like a grape? a grape.

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What do you get when you cross professor plum with a candle stick in the library? A dead prostitute. Try and be more careful next time.

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What did the boy with cancer get for Christmas? An amputation.

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Q: Whats the difference between a baby and a tire swing? A: I don't have a tire swing hanging in my backyard.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I like saying the colors of flowers... how about you.

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What did the cover say when it fell off the bed? Oh sheet!

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why doesnt bally lifeguard he isnt qualified

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Two muffins were in an oven. One muffin said "Wow, its hot in here." The other muffin said "Oh my gosh a talking muffin!" The house burnt down because the oven created a fire.

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Whats worse to see 100 dead babies on the bed of a truck or 100 fake babies falling directly from the empire state building... I don't know I have never seen either but if you could tell me if you saw it maybe i can use my imaination!!!

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Whis a racist rapist etter than a non-racist rapist? less women getting raped

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Q: Why did the koala fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead

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How do you make a blond shut up? Staple her tongue to the roof of her mouth and super-glue her lips together.

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A man is shipwrecked on a desert island. One day, he finds an old lamp. When he rubs it, a genie appears. The genie says, "You have freed me. As a reward, I will grant you three wishes." The man smacks himself in the face and mutters, "Oh god, I'm seeing genies now. I must be delirious from lack of food and water." Several hours later, he dies.

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How many dead babies fit into a bathtub? 23

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What eats McDonalds for breakfast, lunch and dinner, annoys everyone around them, and could care less about anyone but themselves? The population of the United States.

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Q. Whats green jumps up and down and then red? A.A frog in a mixer

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Finn Davidson is cool, no he's not, yes he is

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My parents died!

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what's funnier then 33? actually there's a plenty of things, just have to think about it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops