Q: what did the dad get for playing baseball with his son? A: a line drive to his balls

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BF:Roses r red Violets r blue a face like ur's shuld b i n the zoo but dont worry i'll be there but not in the cage but laughing at u. GF:Wanna c a magic trick? POOF ur single

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Why did the homeless man kill his dog? Because a drunk rich guy said he'd pay him a hundred dollars if he did.

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What do cows and grass have in common? They both say "moo", except for the grass.

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whats more annoying than being raped by a giant scorpian? finding out that half the anti-jokes are terrible

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Why did sally fall off the swing? she had no arms of legs. Knock Knock Whos there? Not sally.

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I spilled spot remover on my dog. Needless to say he received a bath that night.

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The blondes on the opposite part of the lake is a pretty good joke

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what did the guy say to the other guy? nothing because right before he was going to say something he was hit by a truck and got knocked out for 11 hours and right before he was going to wake a plane crashed into the hospital and everybody died except for two gay guys.

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A woman walks into the bathroom and hears the sound of moaning. Not sure what to do she looks around and sees couples as far as the eye can see. She quickly turns to the woman and man standing next to her and asks what is going on here?! The woman says can't you read this is not a bathroom this is a public sex room! Only an idiot would ask that question. In shock the woman takes another look around and she spots someone she finds familiar. When she walks closer she finds that it is her boyfriend and that he is with another woman. Furious she walks up to him and slaps him in the face. The boyfriend looks at her and says sorry your sex just got old. Furious she says to him we never had sex!

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If I give you 5 dollars, and you give me 5 dollars, then we both still have 5 dollars, which when combined will equal 10 dollars. Meaning we could buy something that cost's 10 dollars or less. But we should probably also factor in tax, so we should only buys something that costs a little over 9 dollars.

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How can a chicken be dirty? It can be covered in dirt!

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasnt that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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A pedophile walks into a Nursery. He get's arrested.

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What's the difference between my father and my mother. My father isn't an alcoholic

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A black and a white man enter the bar all the people jump on the black guy to beat him up when the white guy is geting free vodka

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Whats worse than dying? Nothing.....?

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Whatsup?! Your grandpas chance of dying.

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hi

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What's the difference between a nickel and a dime? Five cents.

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A hermaphrodite walks into a bakery, orders an eclair, then leaves.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he clearly has an owner that doesn't fence him in.

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what's the fastest way to have someone murder you tell your wife you are cheating on her

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give me thumbs up or i'll rape u to death

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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