What would you call the fatty cranial mass surrounding a malignant tumor? Ted Kennedy's Head.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the mute say to his friend? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: What do you call a half-black, half-hispanic man crashing a plane full of innocent people into a building? A: A half-black, half-hispanic man crashing a plane full of innocent people into a building.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How do you get a hot blonde to do your laundry? At knife point.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the old woman fall down She got shot

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's worse than finding a dead baby in a dumpster? Recognizing the baby as your missing child, and finding the corpse of your dead wife next to it.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did one bulbasaur say to one squirtle? Well, first off, pokemon are virtual animals created solely for the enjoyment of entertaining japanese children and causing seizure episodes. This fictional creation then migrated to an american tv market, still maintaining their superficial existence while continuing to promote slavery and the use of round balls that capture your problems and propagate winning through random ball throwing. They are fake, and as they are fake, the bulbasaur said "we are fake"

thumb_up thumb_down +8

An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing, because owls can’t talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because it’s a bird of prey.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How do you kill an elephant? -With a gun? No, an elephant gun. How do you kill a red elephant? -With an elephant gun? No, with a red elephant gun. How do you kill a blue elephant? -WIth a blue elephant gun? No, you choke it until it turns blue and kill it with a red elephant gun. How do you kill a purple elephant? Theres no such thing as a purple elephant, thus contradicting the reality of performing a major act of animal abuse on it.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

how hight is a china man ? derr his name is how high and he is a china man

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a deaf, blind socialist? Helen Keller.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter because he's not gonna come

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Aaaaakkkkkiiiiiinnnnfffffeeeeennnnnwwwwaaaa

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Knock, Knock Who's there ? So So who? No, So Lee

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: What did the serail rapist say to his best friend? A: You're a good friend

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How many Pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 1. and "pollack" is a derogatory term that could be fond offensive to some people.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

~Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? ~ ~He was dead. ~ ~Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? ~ ~He was stapled to the monkey!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do a book and a tractor have in common? Both are for driving, except the book.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did Li Chong get an A on his math test? He studied.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Who wants pizza crusts?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why wasn't the man able to see his son? He got run over by a train. Knock knock Who's there? The man. He was kidding about being run over.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

how come the exorcist eat crème brülé? because that deserves a carlsburg

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A lion walks into petsmart and asks the cashier were the dog food is. The Cashier replies your a cat and the cat food is in isle 4 you pussy

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Life is like the Titanic. You cruise along on course and everything is great -- until you hit an iceberg and 1,517 people die.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops