what did the left nut say to the right nut? The guy above us is a real dick huh?

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What is yellow and corny? Corn.

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Me and the wife spent her Birthday in bed, if you know what I mean. We're both severely disabled.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor"

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How do u kill a mocking bird ? Stab it

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How many men do you have to have sex with to show that you're gay? But, I'm a woman!

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Johnny woke up christmas morning, went downstairs and opened his presents to find he had an iPhone, iPad,Ps3 Laptop, the full lot. Then his mate came around and Johnny bragged about all the stuff he had got. Then his mate replied," I wish i had cancer".

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Did you hear about the guy that dropped the soap in prison? He apparently gripped it a bit too tightly causing it to slip out of his hands, but managed to pick it up promptly and finish showering with no further incidence.

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How do you know if a black man was in your house while you weren't home? When you let them enter to babysit your children.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Your mom is so fat that she should watch her weight and maintain a healthy diet.

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How can you tell if a substance is an acid or a base just by looking at it? You can't. pH or Litmus paper would be necessary in order to determine whether a substance is an acid or a base.

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whats in common with a rat and an apple? neither of them are a fridge

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What rhymes with shuck and starts with an f flamethrower

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What did the fish say when it hit the big stone wall? DAM

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Muslim athletes.

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why'd the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side.

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what do u get when two cars collide... a bunch of mexican

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What is black, white and red all over? Many things.

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Hey, I'm Schrödinger, and this is crazy! But here's a sealed box... the cat lives, maybe...

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how do you make a plumber cry kill his family LOLOLOLOLOLOL

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What did the boy say to his friend? "Hello!"

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BIG PENIS

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If life throws you melons, maybe you are hitting the melons.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops