Whatsup?! Your grandpas chance of dying.

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What's the difference between a nickel and a dime? Five cents.

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Whats worse than dying? Nothing.....?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he clearly has an owner that doesn't fence him in.

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what's the fastest way to have someone murder you tell your wife you are cheating on her

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What comes after 23? 24.

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what happens when you put samuel jackson on a plane with snakes? They make a movie

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If I give you 5 dollars, and you give me 5 dollars, then we both still have 5 dollars, which when combined will equal 10 dollars. Meaning we could buy something that cost's 10 dollars or less. But we should probably also factor in tax, so we should only buys something that costs a little over 9 dollars.

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A woman walks into the bathroom and hears the sound of moaning. Not sure what to do she looks around and sees couples as far as the eye can see. She quickly turns to the woman and man standing next to her and asks what is going on here?! The woman says can't you read this is not a bathroom this is a public sex room! Only an idiot would ask that question. In shock the woman takes another look around and she spots someone she finds familiar. When she walks closer she finds that it is her boyfriend and that he is with another woman. Furious she walks up to him and slaps him in the face. The boyfriend looks at her and says sorry your sex just got old. Furious she says to him we never had sex!

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How can a chicken be dirty? It can be covered in dirt!

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A black man rode down the street on a bicycle.

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How are a black man, a hispanic man, and a chinese man similar? Believe it or not they all love cantaloupe!

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What's blue and can't sing? Blue.

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How do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? You shoot at the blonde. Causing her to fall, but I have a feeling she will be pretty mad!

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why did the chicken cross the road? regardless of the fact his job at kfc was there, he felt that exercise was need to work off is thighs

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One day a man woke up and decided that he was going to do something with his life. He then got a haircut, took a shower and bought a nice new suit. After that he went home and cleaned up his whole house and invited his parents, that were not very close with him, over for dinner.An hour and thirty minutes before his parents got there, he went to the store to pick up some food to prepare for the very important dinner. On the way home he see's a homeless man walking on the side of the road. The man felt bad for him because he was poor so he gave him $10. He then proceeded home to make the dinner. The dinner turned out very well and he went to bed a better man.

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Roses are Red Violets are Black Why is your chest As flat as your back

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Why did the chicken cross the road? A man held him at gunpoint and threatened to kill his entire family.

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What's the difference between a rhino and a house cat? They look way different.

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Why did the white bartender kick out a black man and his Mexican friend out of the bar? It was closing time

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Why was Diana crying? Because she was penetrated.

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Why was the cook arrested? Tax evasion.

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Two olives are sitting on a table. One loses his balance and rolls off. The other calls down to it, "Oh my gosh, are you okay?" And the olive yells up, "No. I just rolled off a friggin table."

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What happens if an unmovable object gets hit by an unstoppable force? To get to the other side.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops