A man walks into a bar. He then proceeds to get severe concussion, goes to hospital and dies three days later after suffering multiple brain haemorrhages.

Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she's a women. Why can't Stephen Hawking speak freely with his voice? Because he's autistic.

Two Muffins are in a freezer. The first muffin says "Sure is cold in here." The other muffin sits there untill at a later date eaten because muffins can't talk. The first muffin later is analyzed and dysected by the United States governmant and is classified as alien because again, muffins can't talk.

What did the deaf guy say to the other deaf guy? Nothing.

Why was the baby crying? Because it was just born and usually a baby cries when its born, if it dosent it usually means something is wrong, so the mother was happy to hear her baby cry.

The day the forces of light fight the forces of darkness, we will all live in darkness no matter who wins. Pure darkness will not allow you to see. Pure light will blind you.

Who is happpier than the grouch about the Zombie Apoclypse? Dora.

Why did the fat chick have a camel toe? She was half camel

whats 69+2? 71

What do you call a man bathing with a toaster Electrocuted

Why was bobby late for school? Because he drove off a bridge.

what did the lamp say to the hand? You turn me on

Q:What did the wall say to the other wall? A: .

Why couldn't the skeleton cross the road? Because it was dead, thus incapable of independent movement.

Who did the man call when his house was on fire? He called his mother as the firefighters put out the fire.

What's more fun than a negative pregnancy test? Nothing.

roses are red violets are blue , but i would't know that because u never bring me flowers, you bastard .

What did the blind man say to the bartender? Nothing, I forgot to mention he's also mute and has no legs.

Why was the chicken afaid to cross the road? because there was no road.

A Mexican, a black guy, and a Muslim are riding in the back of a car. Who is driving? Their friend Keith.

What's better than r a p e? Consensual sex.

What did one Chinese man say to the other? ?????

What's red,little and its in the corner??? --- Strawberry in the corner

Siete inglesi quindi non sapete nemmeno cosa c'è scritto ? Succhiacapre che non siete altro.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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