An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman crashed onto a desert island... The Englishman swiftly used his satellite phone to broadcast their location and they were taken home to their worried families.

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what's worse than getting beaten by police? Getting beaten by Russian police

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Wanna hear a joke? Sure. Me too.

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Adele Gordon walks into a bar. The bartender says 'Why the long face?' Because she is a horse lol.

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DID YOU HEAR THE FBI INVENTED A TELEPHONE THAT THEY CAN USE TO CALL THE DINOSAURS? ITS TRUE! Them DAMN DINOS REFUSE TO PICK UP THEIR CELLPHONES THOUGH! Nero: This is not completely accurate though, a T-Rex called us twice actually, but he just kept roaring, making communication impossible... ...That sad moment when you post a totally non ofensive joke, then to tell you that I might your father, me or one of the sixthy guys that bukkaked your mother which was sucking off a dog and... Anyway problem solved!

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Joker2? Who comes up with the names anyways? Sounds like a stupid version of the matrix... Anyways, I stutter because my nerves are killing me, I cant quit the painkillers cold turkey if I cant sleep without them, besides I am used to physical pain as tragic as that might sound... Its not when you get used to it. I need to know who this Neo-Nero was, for anyone that can tell me, he is not around here at these hours, and during the time he/she I was dead, did considerable damage to my and my orders reputation, I need a face to face talk to someone that would put aside my chosen successor and assume my role, and I wont let that happen again even if it means bruising up this Neo-me a bit.

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What do you call a young man holding a banana? Well, this joke had quite a good ending, but as this site only has anti jokes I am going to change the ending. Because he wanted to eat it.

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your mom gave me head.....phones

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Hey I just met you and this is crazy, but i have Alzheimer's. Hey i just met you.

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Roses are brown, Violets are brown, it seem's that someone has been bathroom on my lawn. "Martha, I'm not cleaning this up"

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Why did the fat man fall off the balcony? He didn't, I pushed him.

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How could you wake up Lady Gaga? poke her face

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What was the leg less and armless mans favorite type of music? Nubstep

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Steve: Ask me if I'm a tree. John: Are you a tree? Steve: No.

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Whats green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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Why did schlomo fall off the swing He lost balance because Muslims threatened to kill him

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What do you call 55,000 clowns exiting a small car? Fiction.

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How did Matt stop the robbers? He called the police.

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Why is Justin Biber so white? there's nothing in the closet.

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why couldnt the kid get off the couch when his mom asked him to? he was paralyzed

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what does a baby with no lims get for christmas...cancer

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a horse is running across a cliff at 54 miles per hour, against the wind. he has been running for three hours. he needs to run for 347 more kilometers before he is tired. the wind is blowing at a speed of 10 miles per hour... he wonders if he will make it when suddenly he falls off the cliff. why did he fall of the cliff? it was a retarded horse.

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Why was Martha put in a wheelchair? She was hit by a rabid cabbage.

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Did you hear about the gay midget? He came out of the cupboard.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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