Vicky is my best friend.

It was a dark and stormy night. The whole family waiting for the phone to ring as they await for a criminal to give instructions. Then the phone rings... RING RING Jeffery: "Hello? Yes, sir. Yes, sir. No sir please don't! No, have mercy! Yes sir. No sir, no. Yes sir. Bye." Donald: "What did the man say?" Jeffery: "Wrong number..."

A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says: both your legs are broken in 10 places, you will never walk again.

Why was Little Billy sad? Because he got shot.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Cuz he does what he wants.

kieran scott has a huge back

whats worse than 100 babies strapped to an atomic bomb? 1 baby strapped to 100 atomic bombs

What's red, hairy, and squishy? Helen Keller in a blender.

EAT YOUR DINNER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What's the same between a mole and an eagle? They both live underground, except for the eagle.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

Roses? are red Violets are blue, Kangaroos like Oranges, Poems suck, Refrigerator.

Rose's are red, violets are red, trees are red, bushes are red, oh God the garden's on fire.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gun store to buy a gun. After years of abuse and mockery, he was tired of being called "chicken", and was going to shoot up the entire school

Justin's humor

who killed more poeple than jeffory dommer, john wayne gayce, and ted buny combined cancer

What's the difference between an orange? The horse because the vest has no sleeves.

A man is at a party. He gets hungry so he waits in the foodline and then he gets some food. Then he has to go to the bathroom so he waits in the bathroomline and goes to the bathroom. Then he is thirsty so he goes to get some punch and realizes that there is no punchline.

I was (really) asked one day by a guy if I wanted to star in a porn movie... Before I could even think about it he asked my 14 year old sister "Do you want to join in too?" And that kids, is why I am stuck in jail for pushing up a boot up a guys ass... Well replace boot with dick, and guys ass with my 14 year old sister and yeah... Naw... seriously she has hueg boobs though... at the age of 14, damn those melons have not even gone a bit greenish yellow and they are still growing... ...Hey Cassandra, its NeroMetal, good thing I am not your brother and that you are 19 right? NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH THAT NEROISM DUDE THAT CHATS HERE, I play videogames, and write books, and sign books... ...Then some guy sees my real name is Nero and goes that guy on horsehead network? Who? HE SUCKS! SUCKS ASS!

Yo mama is so fat that she has to buy plus size clothes because small size clothes would be inappropriate for her to wear.

whats yellow? lots of things.

Q: what's brown and rhymes with snoop? A: Dr. Dre

Tell me you're a rapist. You're a rapist. This joke makes no sense. Mashed potatoes.

Whats invisible and smells like carrots? Rabbit farts

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...