Knock knock Who's there? I Love You! -Harrison

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What did one Stoner say to the other? "I'm hungry, let's order pizza."

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what did the doctor say to the guy with a bullet in his arm you have a bullet in your arm

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What is pink and smells like red paint? Pink paint

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What name does Steve Bartman go by Now? Steve Bartman, but he just hides all day trying not to be killed.

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Why was six afraid of seven? because seven had diarrhea

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Knock Knock Who's there? Reality, we have come to install a doorbell.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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what's black and white? everything. i'm a dog

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What did the Zen Buddhist say in the hamburger store? He said, "Make me one with everything."

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Why do penguins wash their clothes in tide? They don't. As artic-dwelling birds, they don't have access TV or magazines and as such, are impervious to influences via commercials and written advertisements. Also, obvious tuxedo jokes aside, they don't really wear clothes.

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Q. What is small, ugly and severely asthmatic? A. My younger brother. Jimmy.

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One night I went to this pub, they had a big jar full of $10 notes in top of the bar. I asked the bar tender what was that jar for and he told me that they have a donkey around back and if you make it laugh you win the jar. So i went around the back and i come back around 5 mins later and the donkey was laughing its head off. So i grabbed the jar and told the boys lets hit the clubs.Two weeks later i went to the same pub and they had another jar with $10 notesso i asked the bar tender what that jar was for and he goes to me "that donkey has been laughing ever since you left, now we want the donkey to cry" So I asked for a go and went around the back and when i come back the donkey was crying. as i went to go grab my jar but the bar tender stops and asks me how i did it. the first time i came i told the donkey i had a bigger dick then him.. the 2nd time i showed him.

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What's better than winning the paraplegic Olympics? Walking.

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Why did the hamster not eat it's food? Because it wasn't hungry.

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What do you call a doctor whos black A doctor

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,try this on a girl, say "can I pop your cherry.........soda bottle cap off your cherry soda bottle?"

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your mothers so silly she saw a rock and sat on a chair.......?

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Why where the 3 little children talking about muffins? Because muffins are smart.

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What did the Nazi put into the oven? Bread.

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I can count to potato.

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Miranda Cosgrove's singing career. ......Thats it. Thats the joke.

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Barack Obama and a kangaroo pull up to a gas station. The gas station attendant takes one look at the kangaroo and says, "You know, we don't get many kangaroos here." Barack Obama replies, "At these prices, I'm not surprised. That's why we need to reduce our dependence on foreign oil."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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