What's brown and sticky? Turtle excrement.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers The third one is for you

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Want to hear a funny joke? Me too.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the koala.

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knock knock whos there open the door and find out

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Hey

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what did the blonde mail to her boyfriend? nothing, blonde's can't write.

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SUBway eat fresh ZOMbies eat fleash

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What does Tourettes Syndrome have in common with short term memory loss? I DON'T FREAKING REMEMBER.

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Why does Jimmy Neutron have a big head? Heredity.

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Justin Bieber is so gay he dates girls

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What's silent but deadly? Limnic Eruption.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He crossed the road to get to a podium. He then made a lond speech about how chickens should be able to cross a road with out having their motives questioned.

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I see said the blind man to his deaf wife as his crippled son pushed him in his wheelchair.

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Pigs have the emotional capacity of a five year old think about that next time you have to dissect one in biology

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What did the Arab do when he got frustrated? Burned himself

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Q. Why is me question not funny? A. Because there is no point to it.

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Waiter, waiter, there's a fly in my soup! That's not a fly, it's a gnat.

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whats the difference between jimmy saville and a horse? jimmy has a bigger cock

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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What did the guy who dropped his iPhone do? He went out and bought a knew one.

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What do you do when someone tries to rob you at gunpoint Well first thing you have to do is think why am I in this situation? Then what can I do to avoid this again Finally think about how you're going to pay your medical bill. You were to busy thinking, to notice you just got shot and robbed.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? (No answer)

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What is blue and rolls ? A blue, rolling thing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops