Did you hear about the cannibal who ate the Olympic record sprinter? He's in prison for first-degree murder & crimes against humanity.

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Man walks into a bar, Has a few drinks and goes home.

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What do you think 3 black men want when the come and knock on your car window? They just want directions.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eyepatch? Names.

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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roses are black violets are black im blind

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How much booze did the homeless man drink? All of it. He is severely depressed.

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Why did Mark get paralyzed? Because he was a famed football player that went drafted for the 1st pick but was later hit so hard that his spine com pulsed and tore

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Why cant Michael J Fox draw a perfect circle? because he is dying of parkinson's disease.

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There once was an X from place B, Who satisfied predicate P, Then X did thing A, In a specified way, Resulting in circumstance C.

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Why don't chicken wear underwear? Because their peckers are on their face

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Why did schlomo fall off the swing He lost balance because Muslims threatened to kill him

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Poop

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anti-joke.com

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My friend billy had a ten foot.... Garden hose. Upon showing it to the neighbour next door he hit it with a rake which significantly shortened it and subsequently had to buy another

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What is the saddest thing in a porno? He doesn't really love her.

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How come Helen Keller didn’t scream when she fell off the cliff? Because at 19 months she contracted an illness that left her blind and deaf and therefore never learned to properly use her vocal cords

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What do you call a snail driving a boat? An accident waiting to happen.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Gestapos.

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Whats a six letter name for black people? Friend.

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Two men walk into a bar. They get drunk.

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Why did the kid have no arms? A clown came and chopped them off.

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Why didn't the Priest have a TV ? A black man stole it

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what do dead babies and turkeys have in common? you eat them on ocasions

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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