How did my grand parents go about surviving the holocaust? Well, for starters, they weren't Jewish, they never lived in Germany, and to be honest, my grandparents probably would have supported the Nazi's because they are right wing pricks

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do black people and apples have in common? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

An Amish man walks into a bar. He then orders a non-alcoholic beverage due to the temperance practices of the Amish faith.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

where did susan go durring the explotion? every where...

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you make a clown cry? Kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How did the blonde die? Frogs teleported from the future and brutally murdered her with forks.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

SCENES WHEN TOM O'SHEA GETS STABBED IN PRISON AFTER STEALING THE WHEELS OFF AN AMBULANCE

thumb_up thumb_down +4

1 little monkey jumping on the bed, he fell off and hit his head. Momma called the doctor and the doctor said, "Your son died of a concussion."

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I came to the bar at 7:00. What time did I leave at? There was no clock at the bar I went to, therefore i cannot determine when I left or when I cmae, so my above opinion is clearly incorrect.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

An early jewish man walks into a bar where a number of stormtroopers have gathered for drinks and is taken into custody.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: What did the boy say to his mum when he saw a Lion A: Hey mum that's a Lion

thumb_up thumb_down +2

a jew, a gay, and an irishman walk int a bar at different times during the span of 5 hours.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Yo mama is so so skinny, when she sits around the house, she sits comfortably in every chair. - Stephen Colbert

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Who's Italian and plays with a peach? Mario

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What' do you call a fart in a box? Your mom's puzsy

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's larger than a grandmother clock? Plenty of things.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Knock. Knock. Who's there? Alzheimer. Who?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the priest tell his son? Nothing, priests can't have children.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why is it pointless to brutally kill and dismember a Japanese man? You'd be satisfying his sexual fetish.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered sex offender.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the chicken cross the road? Earlier that morning the farmer's daughter had inadvertently left the gate to the yard open as she was preoccupied by her worry over a maths test set for that day. She hadn't studied for the test as she was still deeply distressed over her fathers recent heart attack. This, coupled with the added burden of household chores now delegated to her because her mother was out trying to get the west field prepared for sowing, had made her quite forgetful and distracted of late. Whilst several chickens escaped, only one strayed so far that it actually encountered the road facing the farm. After crossing the road and gorging itself in a soy-bean crop, the chicken was struck by a furniture remover's van as it attempted to make its way home. Several hours later the dead chicken was spotted by a Community Mental Health Worker who was doing his bi-weekly rural clinic run. The chicken, being a bantam, caught the eye of the Mental Health worker, who was a keen trout fisherman. "Cool" thought the mental health worker- "those feathers will make for excellent trout flies". He stopped and plucked a handful of the most iridescent blue, green and orange feathers and placed them in an envelope. He rolled himself a cigarette, sat on the trunk of his car and admired the clouds. "God, I love this job", he muttered to no one in particular.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why does history repeat itself? Because no one listened to it the first time.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops