Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog

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What starts with a P and ends with O-R-N? porn

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What time is it when it is time to get a watch? About 4:30, unless its a monday.

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Why did the black man die? A white man killed him. He was a member of the KKK.

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Why wasn't the man wearing a life vest? Because he was sleeping.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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what's worse than finding mommy kissing santa clause ? slave trading

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What did Jean Luc Picard say to Data when he saw a broken Janome Overlocker? Make it Sew

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what did the alcholic get his children for christman, nothing i lied about the children. Another joke by rangler thumbs up for more.

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A Black Man Walks Into A Club.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It didn't. She was capable of loving and caring for a dog.

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Two atoms are walking down the street one day, and one of them says to the other: "Hey, wait up a second. I think I lost an electron" The first atom replied, "Are you sure?" The second atom said, "Oh, wait. Never mind. I found it."

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Im good at other things... ...like giving handshakes

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How do you confuse Hellen Keller? You write a really difficult riddle in braille and tell her to solve it.

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A man hits a woman while driving. Whose fault is it? The mas. He was out drinking that night and shouldn't have gotten in his car in the first place.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Your parents are dead, and so will you.

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Why couldnt the boy poop? Because he was staring right in his eye.

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What's better than winning the special Olympics? Not being retarded.

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Whats worse than getting punched in the balls? Getting punched in the balls twice.

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Why did god smite the homosex man with all of heavens wrath? For shits and gigs.

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If life gives you lemons, steal the declaration of independance and use the lemons and a hair dryer to reveal the numbers on the back. Then enbark on an epic journey that ends with the discovery of the templars treasure. Lastly, use the money you earned to buy some lemons and make some lemonade.

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What's funnier than the Holocaust? The Holocaust is not an idea of the slightest humor at all. Millions of innocent civilians were slaughtered, millions more were sent to brutal concentration camps where they would fight for a crumb of food on the ground and get terribly punished for it, and live their whole lives in pain, torture, and starvation, millions more were sent to concentration camps then murdered, and millions of people, including children were left without family or anywhere to live. On top of that, their whole lives they were mistreated for their differences, and never got to live up to their dreams because of this horrifying event. It left the world in shock for years after, and scars of the event still live on in present-day families whose ancestors were harmed in the Holocaust. The terrible memory of it will never leave this Earth.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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What do you call a large group of Apes attacking San Francisco? Well, it isn't called anything but coincidentally there is a movie called Rise of the Planet of the Apes which was released August 5, 2011 starring James Franco and Andy Serkis. -David Bruggen

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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