Last night I had the strangest dream. I was eating a big marshmallow and when I woke up this morning I had appendicitus

How to make Ramen like a boss Step 1: get a promotion

Do you know what color comes after 9?

A Muslim walked into a bar....nothing happened

ur dug has tits <3 from Alec Bamford xxxxxxxx<3<3<3xxxxxx QAHS 4life

What did Helen Keller name her children? Nothing, since she didn't have any.

adele is so fat that when shes on a plane she makes the skyfall

Hey, I just met you And this is crazy I have alzheimer's Bacon

Why was Timmy's hair shaved? He had cancer and was going though Chemo.

Wake up in the morning feeling like... Helen Keller

why did the the chicken cross the road? because some sad,board people wanted to make a joke

Why did Billy drop his ice cream? He found out his family was killed in a terrorist attack.

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why didn't she get up? She had no legs. *Knock knock* Who's there? Not Suzie.

What do you get when you cross a confused man and an anti-social woman? I don't know, go away.

Why did the little boy cry regularly? Because his father was sexually abusive.

Why did Colussi miss 2 years of school? -Because he died

A man walked into a bar with his friend. He drinks a certain amount of beers, and has his friend safely drive him home.

What do a turtle and a tree have in common? They both can fly except for the turtle............and the tree

Two gay men walk into a bar. Holding hands.

What do you call a young man holding a banana? Well, this joke had quite a good ending, but as this site only has anti jokes I am going to change the ending. Because he wanted to eat it.

A man's car broke down on a lonely country road in the middle of a stormy night. Spotting a light in a farmhouse nearby, he made his way there through the mud and driving rain, and knocked on the door. The farmer who lived there answered, and said what while he didn't have any room in the house, the barn would provide shelter and warmth until morning. Thankful for the hospitality, the stranded man made his way to the barn and made a place to sleep in the hay. As the lightning flickered outside, briefly illuminating the barn's interior, he noticed knot-holes in the wood of the stall walls, and the hoses of a milking machine laying nearby. He then fell fast asleep. The farmer woke him up in the morning, and together they rode on a tractor to the road to make the necessary repairs to the man's automobile, but only after enjoying a country breakfast prepared by the farmer's wife and lovely eighteen year old daughter.

Why did the boy laugh? Because someone told him a joke.

Hot Lady: What do you do for a living? Guy: Phosphorus, Oxygen, and Radon. Hot Lady: So you are a chemist? Guy: Think again! Think about Acronyms... Hot Lady: OPRa, so Opera correct? Guy: (Obviously talking to a Blonde) P, O, Rn Hot Lady: So, you are a chemistry teacher! Guy: (Sighs to himself thinking how PORn relates to chemistry. Which it does in biochemistry, but he does not know that).

After thinking hard for a very long time, the pig realized he was a fat, worthless piece of shit.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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