Two apples are hanging from a tree. They are both picked, sold, taken home, washed, and enjoyed by a family of three.

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http://citizenmcgeedotcom.files.wordpress.com/2011/04/borat-banana-hammock.jpg?w=300

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Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

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-my friend Cassie is coming over - oh is she cute? -yea but she's not my type -oh that's understandable then

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Two guys walk into a bar. One man walks out of the bar at a similiar time.

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what did God say when He saw a black man? Oops I urnt one.

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whats worse than having your sextape leaked to the media? not being a kardashian when it happens.

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A panda walks into a bar... Psht. Panda in a bar, that's impossible.

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Why did the Jew post a free link on his Facebook wall? Because it is funny and he hoped his friends would like it.

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doctor,doctor my eyesight is getting worse, you are certainly right, this is the post office

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Where did the homeless man sleep? A rather nice hotel with fluffy pilloes

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A cow walks into a bar and said, "Bartender give me a glass of milk!"

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What is blue and flies across the room? A baby with a punctured lung.

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Who enjoys hearty wank sessions with friends and long walks on the beach? David Cameron.

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How do you make time fly? Develop a flying suit to put on a sun dial.

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What is pink and fluffy? Pink fluff

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What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A pilot.... ya' damn racist!

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knock knock whos there knock knock whos there knock knock whos there poor billy didnt know that the knocking was just a tree branch and he stayed asking the same question for 21 years

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ronald wants to join a gym, they tell him to lose 20 pounds before coming back or else.....

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What's worse then one bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse then two bee stings? The Holocaust . What worse then the Holocaust? Three bee stings.

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What is red? A rock painted red

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What has wings and can't fly? What has legs and can't move? What has mouth and can't eat? A dead bird on the road

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"One day this man walks out of his house to go to work. He sees this snail on his porch. So he picks it up and chucks it over his roof, into the back yard. Snail bounces off a rock, cracks its shell all to ****, and lands in the grass. Snail lies there dying. But it doesn't die. It eats some grass. Slowly heals. Grows a new shell. And after a while it can crawl again. One day the snail up and heads back to the front of the house. Finally, after a year, the little guy crawls back on the porch. Right then, the man walks out to go to work and sees this snail again. So he says to it, 'What the f uck's your problem?'" -Training Day

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How do you make an electrician fall over? You hit him hard with a lamp

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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