Q. How are a bird and a turtle alike? A. They both fly. Except the turtle.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: Where can you find a cat with no arms and no legs? A: Right where you left him Q: Where can you find a dog with no arms and no legs? A: In a bun

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Do you have ass-thma? Coz your ass is taking my breath away

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do a gas and a liquid have in common? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +3

There are two cowboys in the kitchen. One says to the other, "I feel at 'home on the range.'" To which the other replies, "Is that because of your extensive culinary background?" The first cowboy breaks down in tears because he realizes he's not pursuing what he truly loves.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the chicken cross the road? To pick up the carcass of its road-killed younger brother and weep.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A black man and a Mexican man are both in a car. Who's driving? The white man who is also in the car with them.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A white,mexican and asian man are walking together on the beach. They find a genie lamp and the genie says"since there are 3 of u u each get one wish" the black man says " i wish that all the mexicans would go back to mexico. " the asian man says " i wish all the asians would go back to asia" and the white man says " wait so the mexicans and asians arent in america right?" the genie said "that is correct!" the white man says " oh ok ill just taqke a coke then!"

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's the difference between Batman and a black man? Batman is a superhero and the other is just a normal person.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Your mama's p*ssy is so stank, she should probably consult her physician as she may have an easily treatable infection.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Guy 1: Hey, did you hear about this blind guy who went bungee jumping off a bridge? Guy 2: No, what happened? Guy 1: He couldn't see Jack!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's a black man's favorite fruit? Clementines.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

When you are swimming across the ocean, and you lose your wheels, what's the difference between a duck? ... Because bananas have no bones.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's big and red and if it falls out of a tree and can kill you - a fire truck

thumb_up thumb_down +1

squirrels playing in the street=dez bryant playing tennis

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Where do fat girls go to eat doughnuts? Jenny Craig

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are red Violets are blue I don't like to rhyme Microwave.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Two tomatoes walk across the street and manage to get over safely. COME ON MUSTARD!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's worse than losing one of your socks? Being jewish during the holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why was the Cubs fan sad? His wife just left him.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

P.E.N.I.S P-enis E-nis N-is I-s S

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Your dad is so bald, that a various number of people compliment him on how well shaven his head is.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you stop a rhino from charging? Kill it

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops