i shouldnt be on this cause im in class

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9

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If you have a large penis.give this joke a thumbs up. ( :

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-Ask me if i'm a crab. -Are you a crab? -No, why would i be a crab?

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? Because Suzy had no arms.

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Butt poop.

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Quantum Mechanics is so difficult to understand, somewhere Stephen Hawking just walked into a bar.

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Whats the best part about being alive? Not getting hit by a bus

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Where's my baby??

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Two blondes walk into a bar. You'd have thought one of them would have seen it.

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i am and me is i

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At a feminist picnic there are no sandwiches.

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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In 1284, while the town of Hamelin was suffering from a rat infestation, a man dressed in pied clothing appeared, claiming to be a rat-catcher. He loyally promised the townsmen a solution for their problem with the rats. The townsmen in appreciation and glad to get rid of the infestation promised to pay him for the removal of the rats, they were looking forward to being left in peace. The man pleased with their decision accepted, and played a mystical musical pipe to lure the rats with a joyous song into the Weser River, where all but one drowned. Despite his renowned success, the people reneged on their promise and refused to pay the rat-catcher the full amount of money. The man left the town angry and upset the people had betrayed his kindness, he did however vow to return some time later, seeking revenge. On Saint John and Paul's day while the inhabitants were happily sat in church, he played his pipe yet again, dressed in green, like a hunter, this time attracting the young and joyful children of Hamelin. One hundred and thirty boys and girls followed him out of the town, skipping in song as they went, where they were lured into a cave. The events that followed are now known as the 1284 mass child massacrer, in which all 130 children were raped and savagely tortured and killed one by one, each viscously taped and recorded for the pipe pipers satisfaction, where a copy of each tape was sent to their corresponding parents, this was before their bodies turned up dangling from a tree and the bottom of the village, all 130 of them unrecognisable from decomposition and mutilation the pipe piper had inflicted.

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Two black men jump off a cliff, who wins? Wins what?

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How do you make a little girl laugh. You tell her something funny.

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If life gives you lemons, Eat them.

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What did the unicorn say to the man.\ Nothing unicorns don't exist

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What is worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Getting raped by a giant scorpion

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What happens if you roll a nickel down a street in Mexico? It eventually stops and lands on its side.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a dead moose, In my basement.

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On monday morning the doctor walked into a patient's room, then he walked out after a quick check up.

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Why did the chicken cross the street? To get to your house. Knock Knock Who is there. The chicken.

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- How breakdance was invented? - A certain black man was trying to stole rims from moving car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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