What do you call a deaf, blind socialist? Helen Keller.

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I like my coffee like i like my woman.... with big titis.

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A psychotic man walks into a pharmacy He buys his weekly medication to control his condition.

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A: Who keeps knocking on the wall? B: My neighbors have sex a lot. A: We should knock back.

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roses are red violets are blue i have AIDS now so do you.

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called antee joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

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Doctor doctor, I came here as quickly as possible, it was just the nearest place I could find. My dog he... he's panting and bleeding and I don't know what to do I think he's dying and I just want him to hold on... Please... Well then go to a vet you stupid shit.

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How do you stop clowns from throwing cinderblocks at your car? Hire a hitman.

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how come the exorcist eat crème brülé? because that deserves a carlsburg

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why did little suzy fall off the swing? She had no arms Knock knock: Who's there? Not little suzy Why did the car crash? Little suzy was driving Why didn't little suzy ride her bike home? She died of her injuries from the car crash

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why was the boy lonely? his whole family died in a plane crash

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Why did the black guy eat KFC? Cause he was hungry.

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Whats worse than finding a spider in your shower? Getting repeatedly stabbed in the dick by a rapid chipmunk.

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What's it called when One Direction wins a Grammy Award? It's never going to happen; so why give it a name?

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what's white and sticky? mayonnaise.

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Got Milk? Why yes! Yes I do!

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A: Ask me if I'm a tree. Q: Are you a tree? A: No.

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Why couldnt Julia find her cat? she has gone crazy from old age, her cat actually died 10 years ago

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Marmite.

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That awkward moment when... Your mom is a guy.

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What does a dyslexic person do on sundays? Goes to church to pray to Dog

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What's hard, long and full of seamen? an erect penis.

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Roses are red, violets are blue you may not know this but I'm falling for you . <3

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How do you get a blind man out of a tree? Yes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops