How do you make a plumber cry Kill his family

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A man tells the bartender," A bar walks into a man..." The bartender says," What the hell? I think you've had enough"

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Knock... Knock... Who's there? AIDS.

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haiku's are funny. but sometimes they don't make sense. refrigerator.

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Q: What did the chicken cross the road? A: "Why did the chicken cross the road?" is a common riddle or joke in several languages. The answer or punchline is: "To get to the other side." The riddle is an example of anti-humor, in that the curious setup of the joke leads the listener to expect a traditional punchline, but they are instead given a simple statement of fact. "Why did the chicken cross the road?" has become largely iconic as an exemplary generic joke to which most people know the answer, and has been repeated and changed numerous times.

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Whats red and smells like cherries? Cherries

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died.

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yo mama so fat she has diabetes.

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what does the homeless man do when he gets home? nothing, he's homeless

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So a Quadriplegic walks into a bar.....

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What did little Jimmy get for Christmas? Presents because he wasn't poor.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a water. He then drinks his water and leaves. The following day he returns to the bar and again orders a water. He repeats this for many days until finally one day the bartender asks him why he comes every day to just drink water. The man replies, "Water is free. I got laid off from my job last week. Rough economy, you know." The bartender starts charging him for water, and the man becomes homeless.

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What do elephants have that no other animal has? Baby elephants.

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How do you call a man in a wheelchair? Disabled.

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The Female Orgasm

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A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys could get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you."

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Whats worst than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Being stabbed.

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what is the difference between a black person and a little boy with autism .... the boy with autism is smarter with more education than the black person

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So a guy walks into a bar. Ouch. It was a gay bar.

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Why did the plane crash? Cause the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Today is May 18 2016.

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Knock Knock. - Whose there? ... ... ... ... Damn kids.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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Pick up lines: Are you from Tennessee? Because you're wearing a university of Tennessee sweatshirt. If I could rearrange the alphabet to put 'U' and 'I' together, I would not do it because I would have to reorganize all of my alphabetized files. Is it hot in here to you or am I experiencing early signs of a stroke?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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