SCENE: A prirate walks into a bar with the wheel of the ship attached to his pants. BARTENDER: Doesn't that hurt? PIRATE: Aye! It drives me nuts.

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What's black, white and red all over? A nun in a blender

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Two guys walk into a bat, they have a couple drinks then go home, one crashed and died in a horrible drunk driving accident. The other, who took a cab, went home and viciously beat his wife.

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Roses are red, Violets are Violate and not fucking blue.

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A man walks in on his wife blowing Bubbles. Two weeks later they are divorced.

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What do you call a black doctor? A doctor you racist

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What would an ice hockey player do if the ice melted? Walk off, as the ice is only 3/4 of an inch thick.

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An Irish man walks past a bar... it could happen...

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What do you call a barn full of black people? antique farm equipment.

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so three men walk into a bar and one is a priest.

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Q. What happened first The Tree or The Apple. A. Johny Appleseed.

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An Atheist sneezed. Everyone around him said, "God bless you." He thanked them and continued on with his day.

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Yo mama's has so much acne, I decided to give her proactive.

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Why didn't Wendy want to sit down? Because her dad put a hand full of needles in her anus. - D

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why do i have a pain in my left side i dont know but im scared

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to.

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a man shoots his mother in-law He his charged with murder and will only be eligible for parole in 18 months

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yes... that's the joke

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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What did the Mexican guy get for christmas? Deported

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That moment when you try and finger your girlfriend and there no hole......and you start questioning your sexuality

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A man is walking in the desert, alone and lost, when suddenly he finds a lamp. The man picks up the lamp and to his surprise, a genie bursts out of the lamp ! The genie says to the man: "Thank you, kind man! You have freed me from this prison I have been in for a million years. I am in your dept and will grant you three wishes." The man replies: "Wow, you've been in there for a million years and all you have to give me are three wishes?" The genie was really sad to hear of the man's lack of appreciation and flew away, leaving the man. The man eventually died of starvation and dehydration.

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.sdrawkcab siht gnidaer era ouy ,siht daer nac ouy fI

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? It depends how hard you throw them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops