A man trips on an old bottle. He picks it up and out pops a genie. "I will grant you three wishes!" says the genie. "Whatever you so desire is my com--" "I'm already late for a meeting!" shouts the man. He drops the bottle and continues on.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Disabled.

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A father was angry at his daughter's boyfriend because he took her virginity. The boyfriend said he was ashamed that he never told her he has AIDS.

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How do you wake up a black man? Punch him in the face.

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What made people stop likeing Ice tea? Ice-T

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Violets are blue, Roses are red. The sentence before was completely irrelevant, but I needed something to say before I tell you, Your family's been murdered by the KKK.

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Why did the kid eat so much ice cream? Because he wanted to eat ice cream.

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Q: How do you solve a problem like Maria. A: You kill her. You kill Maria.

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whats bloop with an m? matthew

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How did Elmo get his show? Because the kids loved his furry ass and hoped to be on with dorthy

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Why do girls not have to have drivers license? Because they don't need a car to get from the bedroom to the kitchen ;) Don't mean to offend anybody! His joke is just funny

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Knock knock "Who's there?" Blood on the Dance Floor "Ha!"

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms Knock knock Who's there? Certainly not Sally

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What did the horse say to the other horse? Neigh

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How did the young child react when a bullet went through his head? He fell to the ground and his heart stopped beating.

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What's the difference between Michael J. Fox and a blender? Michael J. Fox is a successful actor starring in many movies, and a blender is a kitchen appliance.

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a mother: my little boy always asks me to take him to see dinosaurs...but they are extinct. me: take him to a museum you dumb bitch!

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing really, it just let out a little whine.

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Why did the bunny cross the road? It didn't, It was hit by a truck...

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I've got ninety-nine problems, all of them very diverse and possibly involving women.

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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Why did the yeti make an omlette? To practise making omlettes.

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s o m a a d i t u n y s n i t a c s d c ' s k h k s t o e l y e

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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