A. Do you know the best part about Anti Jokes? B. No

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock knock Who's there? Doorbell repairman

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Hillary Clinton

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a cucumber

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Got tired of McDonalds Jim?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

why was the boy lonely? his whole family died in a plane crash

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I what's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? I don't have 10 watermelons in my basement.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

whats long, hard, and full of semen? A submarine

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a Chelsea fan on the moon? You don't call him anything... You call for help.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the fat man go to America? Because he was excited to get of work for vacation.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q) How do you get 100 midgets into a Mini? A)You have to manufacture a Mini large enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It wouldn't be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 100 midgets into a Mini is solved.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What should you do if you come across a slut with a fork up her @ss and a gun in her hand? Do not look at her and walk away.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A man is sitting at a bar. He stands up and goes over to these bikers playing pool. He then walks over to the bartender and says "I bet you three hundred dollars that I can pee in that bottle over there." The bartender looks at the bottle and sees there is a good five meters between the two. The bartender then agrees. The man takes out his penis and begins to pee. His pee stream goes everywhere on the bar, on the cash register, and espicially on the laughing bartender. It goes everywhere except inside the bottle. The man finishes and zips his pants. He then smiles at the bartender while handing him three hundred dollars. The bartender asks "why are you laughing you lost three hundred dollars?" Which the man replies "See those bikers by the pool table laughing?...I bet them five hundred dollars each that I could pee on your bar, on your cash register, and on your face and you would laugh and be happy." The bartender then reached under his bar and toke out his bat. He then continued to break the mans knees and then perceeded to pee on his bruised and battered face.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

why did spiderman fall off the roof ? cause it was wet

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How does a girl with no arms swing on the swing? She doesn't, she has no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you get when you mix red and blue? Gang violence.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Your Grandma and your mom drove off a cliff, who survived? Both of them, they didn't drive off a cliff.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's blue? The sky.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the plane crash. its pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the girl scream? Someone shot her mom

thumb_up thumb_down

Knock Knock Sorry, I'm in a full body cast and can't answer the door.

thumb_up thumb_down

How do you get McFly into a Mini? McFly are a four member band and a mini has four seats so it's actually quite straightforward.

thumb_up thumb_down

your mom is so old, she is often confused for your grandmother.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why can't black people swim? Cause poop don't float!

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops