- Anti Joke

you: "hey, is your refrigerater running?" random, confusded individual: "yeah" you: "oh."

Whats fuzzy and pink? A pink fuzz ball

Three blondes walk into a bar. They have an intellectual conversation over some drinks.

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf or bread. why did the plane fall apart in mid air? The engineer was a loaf of bread Why didn't the plane take off? because it was delayed.

What do a blond and a jar of marmalade have in common? Nothing, they are completely different.

Did you hear about the homeless man? He asked me if I had any spare change. I didn't. I found the encounter to be very depressing.

How do you get black children to stop jumping on the bed? Tell them it's not allowed and that consequences will ensue if the rules are not followed.

Why did the helicopter crash? Because the driver was fat.

What is Ciaran Wilkie Gay

Why did I kill the Muslim because I'm smart

Somewhere in prison- Germany 1940 Janurary, Tuesday, 630PM: "Why doya' think you're so innocent" "It was only a jew!"

Knock knock. Who's there? The Police. Your family is dead...

Why did the women call 911 on her 12 year old son? Because he was schizophrenic and attempting to commit suicide by hanging himself.

Have you seen the 6th sense? Nope, is it good? Yeah Bruce Willis is dead

There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

Why can't Ray Charles read? Because he's dead

We just got a letter We just got a letter We just got a letter I wonder who it's from Oh look, it's a letter from our friends If there is a place you got to go I am the one you need to know I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! If there is a place you got to get I can get you there I bet I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map!

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was. The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles roll ed into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was. The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full.. The students responded with a unanimous ‘yes.’ The professor then produced two Beers from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand.The students laughed.. ‘Now,’ said the professor as the laughter subsided, ‘I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things—-your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passions—-and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car.. The sand is everything else—-the small stuff. ‘If you put the sand into the jar first,’ he continued, ‘there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Spend time with your children. Spend time with your parents. Visit with grandparents. Take your spouse out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and mow the lawn. Take care of the golf balls first—-the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand. One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the Beer represented. The professor smiled.... And than he shove all the items up his ass

why did the kid cross the road he didnt he had no legs

There was an english man, and irishman and an pakistani sitting in a bar. What a wonderful example of racial & cultural differences bing put to one side while they are socialising in a friendly environment.

Harry Styles

Whats the difference between a Jew and a boy scout? Boy scouts come back from camp.

Why didn't suzie eat? Because she wasn't hungry

what did one barstool say to the other what theres a butt on me

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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