Why did the black man crash his car? His low-income job forced him to buy a toyota.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 had a gun.

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Why did the Dentist recommend Oral B? He had been paid by the company and thus legally bound to do so.

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what did the dog say to the mailman? woof.

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What is blue and flies across the room? A baby with a punctured lung.

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How do you make time fly? Develop a flying suit to put on a sun dial.

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A giant meteor will hit the earth tomorrow.What do you do? Tell everyone I told you so.

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What's not funny? Today's anti-joke writers

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doctor,doctor my eyesight is getting worse, you are certainly right, this is the post office

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Apparently I'm an unfit father, cuz all I know is dope and all I got is 30 dollas

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Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Oh wait; it would be quite unsanitary to talk about my genitals in front of you.

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Why did little Sally drop her ice cream? She got ran over by the school bus

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What's worse then one bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse then two bee stings? The Holocaust . What worse then the Holocaust? Three bee stings.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Stoner Student: "Imagine if El Nino and La Nina got together and started a family and had little Los Ninos." Class Nerd: "Yeah."

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What's brown and sticky? A stick!

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A penis takes a trip to spain, he falls in love with an apple and proceeds to commit suicide

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Ya mama so fat when she went on an elevater she had no chose but to go down Hahaha I'm so so funny haha Awesome mon yeah

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How do you fit 1000 babies into a trashcan? You don't that would be wasteful! You Eat Them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Why did the bud driver drop his ice cream? Because he hit a boy.

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Why did the handicap man scream for help? Because he fell out of his wheel chair

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Whats worse than one pregnancy scare... whats worst than two pregnancy scares? being forced to having consensual sex with a grizzly bear.

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What happened to Johnny when he fell of his bike? He had a seizure, went into a coma, and forced his parents to take him off life support. Happy birthday Johnny.

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How many jews does it take to stop hitler. no one knows they didn't

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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