A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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''thanks for giving me back the money i lent you david''-said nobody

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How many Spanish people does it take to screw in a light bulb? Uno

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An alcoholic walks into a bar.... I forgot the rest of the joke but your mother is a whore.

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what taste like an apple, looks like an apple, but isnt an apple? an apple.

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holly shit!!!! when did i get on the internet !?

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69- by Adam Chebali

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this is not a joke. jks

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knock knock, Whos there ? ( runs away ) trololololololololol

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why did the doctor go to jail? he was found guilty of the murder and rape of a 6 year old boy.

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Your mother is so fat that when she sits around the house she is likely to be there for some time.

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A man throws a penny off of a cliff. He is now one cent poorer

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roses are red violets are blue most poems rhyme but this one doesnt

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How do you fit four gays on a barstool? You turn it upside down

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so theres this big moose, and it walks into a convenience store and asks the lady bitch "where are the potatoes?" and she says "ehh, down aisle 5" so he goes down isle five, and there aint no potatoes

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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What do a black man and a bench have in common? The black man can sit in the bench.

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What is green and has wheels A blue bucket, I lied about the green and the wheels

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Three girls are eating icecream one girl sucks on her icecream the second girl licks on her icecream and the third girl bites on her icecream. Q: Which of the three girls is married? A: The girl with the wedding ring.

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What do you do when you say shut up to someone and they say make me? Rip out their vocal cords.

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Once upon a time, there was a man. He was black. The end.

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Whats black and is on sale in shops? Blackberries.

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What happened to him after he died? He got buried.

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Have you seen Hellen Keller's treehouse? No. It's quite nice, her father made it himself.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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