Why did the Dentist recommend Oral B? He had been paid by the company and thus legally bound to do so.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 had a gun.

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What is blue and flies across the room? A baby with a punctured lung.

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How do you make time fly? Develop a flying suit to put on a sun dial.

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what did the dog say to the mailman? woof.

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A giant meteor will hit the earth tomorrow.What do you do? Tell everyone I told you so.

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Why did the handicap man scream for help? Because he fell out of his wheel chair

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Why did the bud driver drop his ice cream? Because he hit a boy.

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A penis takes a trip to spain, he falls in love with an apple and proceeds to commit suicide

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What's brown and sticky? A stick!

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Ya mama so fat when she went on an elevater she had no chose but to go down Hahaha I'm so so funny haha Awesome mon yeah

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How do you fit 1000 babies into a trashcan? You don't that would be wasteful! You Eat Them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Stoner Student: "Imagine if El Nino and La Nina got together and started a family and had little Los Ninos." Class Nerd: "Yeah."

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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What's the difference between a baby and hot dog? I don't put ketchup on my hot dog when I eat it.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen. Its was her funeral

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What happened to Johnny when he fell of his bike? He had a seizure, went into a coma, and forced his parents to take him off life support. Happy birthday Johnny.

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Whats worse than one pregnancy scare... whats worst than two pregnancy scares? being forced to having consensual sex with a grizzly bear.

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How many jews does it take to stop hitler. no one knows they didn't

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What do you do when your phone goes off in class? Stay behind after class whilst the teacher takes off his pants and tells you do bend over a desk. This is your punishment.

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What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? Finishing the wheelchair.

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What do you call an indian driving a plane? A pilot.

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What's worse than a dead baby in a barrel? A dead baby in 8 barrels.

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what does a squid and a worm have in commen they both are animals

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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