How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 452

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ACT 2 CHAPTER 4 GEARS OF WAR 3 TICKER EASTER EGG.... MICHAEL VICKS HOUSE

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An abortionist secretly fancies himself pro life, with reservations. Overwhelmed, and utterly fed up, with the burden of carrying on the family business, he aborts himself. Although he was only 46, his frail mother was nevertheless proud of his decision to succeed where she had failed 46 years ealier.

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A bear and a rabbit sits by a small lake in the forest, taking a shit. After a while, the bear asks the rabbit: "Do you have problems with shit hanging from you fur after you're done?" The Rabbitm ponders, and responds: "No, bear. I really don't". Than the bear wiped his ass with some moss.

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Your momma;s so fat she stepped on the scale and said one at a time please!

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Why did the boy sharpen his pencil it was dull

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A guy walks into a psychiatrist's office covered only in Saran Wrap. He asks the doctor, "The strip of metal teeth is missing from the box, so could I borrow your scissors?"

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I had some crack, my unicorn says hi.

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Did you know that a hamster and a cigarette are almost the same? How? Because they are both completely harmless until you put them in your mouth and light them on fire.

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Why was the black man eating fried chicken and watermelon? He was at home

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Q. What do you call 2 black men on a bike? A. Organised Crime

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Q: What's worse than the holocaust? A: 2 Holocausts

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why did the chicken cross the road? well... to get to the other side.

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Why did the deaf man attend the music concert? He was invited by friends and wasn't doing anyhting else that evening.

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Why did the black kid with one leg read the Iliad? Because it was part of his homework assignment?

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Ed Milliband looks like an amphibian.

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A man looks both ways before crossing the street he gets hit by an airplane

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Nock nock Whos there? The mailman, I have a package for you. Thank you.

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what is worse than the holocaust. interracial relationship, cough..... oli

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A woman walks into a doctor's office and says "Doctor, my water just broke." The doctor replies "Get off my carpet."

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How do you stop an alcoholic from drinking ? You leave him in the desert for 4 days, eventually he'll die from dehydration .

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Why did the cat have hair? Because he did.

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Do you know what Chuck Norris does for a living? He's an actor, I also heard he's quite good with martial arts.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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