A man walks into a bar and orders a sprite. Everyone in the bar looks and him funny and then laughs. He then tells them, "I would rather satisfy myself with a cool lemon-lime drink than put the poisonous toxins of alchohol into my blood stream."

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Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? You did?! Oh . . .

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Where did Jimmy go during the bombing? An underground shelter where he would be kept from harm.

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if i have 2 bananas, and you have 2 bananas, then together we have 4 bananas what are the chances?

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why did the chicken cross the road? because it had earlier escaped from its cage and had since began to wonder around the local town

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Why did the girl drop out of school? She was being sexually assaulted by her mothers alcoholic boyfriend and was having trouble coping.

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Knock knock! Who's there? F*ck. F*ck who? F*ck you.

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What's orange and sounds like a parrot? An orange parrot

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What did Rachel (the columbine girl) get for her birthday?? Nothing she's dead.

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Why did Li Chong get an A on his math test? He studied.

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whats worse then girls playing sport ? girls cutting grass

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Why can't Hellen Kelller drive? Because she's a woman.

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Why did the black family cry? Tyler Perry died

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Why did the woman make so many sandwiches? Because she was a mother catering her child's sporting event.

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getting a call from the hospital saying that your whole entire family was all killed in an explosion and they were killed from your best friend.

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Q: Why was the little boy upset? A: His nose was glued to the sidewalk.

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what's worse than getting raped the guy who raped you has aids

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What did the engineer say to the supervisor? Hi.

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Why do Chinese people have flat faces? Air bags.

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What is brown and sticky? Syrup.

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What is a life without options.... an optionless life

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered sex offender.

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Tom and Phill are eating ice cream Tom challenges Phill to a contest to see who can eat their ice cream in one bite Tom finishes his in two bites Phil in one Then he looks like he got a brain freeze Tom notices and says "You idiot: you got brain freeze!" Phill turns around and says "No, I have a brain tumor."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops