Why does the man with no legs call for help? because he woke up to find that he had no legs.

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You just read this ..

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What's gay and nobody likes? Ryan's combover

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Why was Sally rolling in the grass? She was on fire.

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I scream. You scream. We all scream and huddle in a corner of our first grade classroom because of a masked gunman.

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why did the computer crash? it didn't

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How does a girl with no arms swing on the swing? She doesn't, she has no arms.

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What's worse than a bee sting? 2 bee stings. What's worse than 2 bee stings? The Hollocaust. What's worse than the Hollocaust? 3 bee stings.

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Why is it pointless to brutally kill and dismember a Japanese man? You'd be satisfying his sexual fetish.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They were baked until the baker them until they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Why, apples are the optimum environment for the worm species, offering a stable temperature with the efficiency of nutrition and comortable value, therefore in reality finding a worm in your apple is a healthy suggestion that the Global Warming effects on Earth have not yet affected the ever increasing innocent worm population.

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Why did the gambler sell his house? Because he needed money to pay for male hookers.

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What do you call a man who buys flowers, chocolates, and new jewelry for his wife? A kind, considerate husband.

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Two guys walk into a bar the third guy ducks

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervour father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happyness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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children burning

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? not finding a worm in your apple, i quite like them actualy

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Roses are red, violets are blue, f*** you, f*** you.

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Why are there so many jokes about germans on Anti-Joke? Because the Germans epitomize the flavour of anti-jokes perfectly and they have the whole nazi history thing going on which is ripe ground for many an anti-joke

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How do you keep an elephant from charging? Shoot it with a high powered gun right between the eyes.

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knock knock, Whos there ?? Johnny. Come in fish.

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I couldn't afford a hair cut... So i contracted cancer.

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Why did the man stop chewing gum? I threw a grenade at him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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