What do you call a black man who goes to college? A scholar.

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What do you call a young child being beating to death with a spiked club? Arousing.

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What do you call 500,000 white guys jumping out of a plane? There's no such thing. 500,000 people can't fit onto one plane.

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get off me you fat b*tch or i will mash you up like a potato

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What do you call a black guy driving a bus? A bus driver

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Twenty-Four

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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who's that hot blonde at the disco? your mother.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting ran over by a truck.

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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They say that laughter is the key to a long life. What's the key to a short life? Death.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idear.

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If the red house is made out of red bricks, the yellow house is made out of yellow bricks, and the blue house is made out of blue bricks, what is the greenhouse made of? Ah, I see what you did there. You are expecting me to follow the sequence based on how each house is made out of bricks the same color as their title. However, I am one step ahead of you and I know that the greenhouse is made out of glass panels. But what if it were made out of green glass panels? Then, I suppose, the sequence could continue naturally yet we still have a problem of units - bricks vs. glass. Quite the dilemma we are facing.

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How do two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for 30 minutes? They don't and they died.

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Why is Santa fat? Because the apples are red.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the middle of a lake? Dead.

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Yo mama so fat - - That your dad left her, and it's tearing your family apart

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How do you kill an already dead man? You don't he's already dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road?

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roses are red violets are blue ur family is dead and u will die too

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ive got it ive got ive got outsimers to tonight wow bim bim bub bub za za

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i have an apple. now suck my dick

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What did the children in India eat for dinner?

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A guy walks into a bar, but a metal bar, he hurts his head, he goes to the hospital to get an x-ray, Turns out he hard a brain tumor, He died the next day,

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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