A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call the CEO of a successful company? Rich.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

My kids are mistakes.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the skeleton say to the vampire? Nothing because a skeleton wouldn't have a larynx.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what is racecar backwards in reverse

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what do you get when you see jonny cry-a monkey lol

thumb_up thumb_down -2

I look back at all those hours I wasted playing those stupid video games, but then I'm reminded of all those people I brutally killed.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do people say when a dyslesic person scores a goal in soccer good job that was a nice goal

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have H2O too." The bartender gives them both water, realizing that H2O2 is poisonous and that the second scientist must have simple worded his request poorly.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

PLEASE LIKE TO DONATE 50 CENTS TO MY CHARIDY .... SAVE THE PENGUINS IN AFRICA -BY LUKE BRANIFF

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What is the most dangerous day of the week to leave the house? Garbage day. Moral: Or rather GAAAAAAAAAARBAAAAAGE DAAAAAAAAAAAAY! *BANG BANG BANG* >:D

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? It had no legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

a woman came back from a long vacation, one of her male employes noticed that her breast were much larger, "wow, did you get a boob job?" he asked. she replied "no i have breast cancer"

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the little boy get for Christmas? A pair of broken sunglasses, because his parents didn't care about him, and because he lived in Hawaii where it is very hot in December. Plus the kid's blind. By Nikhil Sridhar of Taikoo Shing, Hong Kong.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. Why did the man get a check in the mail every month? Cause he's black Why did Obama Cross the road? Cause he lost control of congress why is there all this blank space?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

what did the mushroom say to the other mushroom? nothing, mushrooms can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down -4

I was looking out the window on a Sunday morning. The coffee was fresh, and the air was moist. I had recieved a phone call last night on the contents of a briefcase that was to be left on my front door today. The explination was vague, and I was told to enjoy my last day. Then I died.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

what is long hard and full of seamen......... A sumbirine..........................(what were you thinking)

thumb_up thumb_down -4

John has 32 candy bars, he eats 28..what does he have now? Diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

If a vegetarian only eats vegetables, then what does a humanitarian eat?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did my grandma tell me during a funeral? Nothing. It's her funeral. She's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What is worse than a bee sting? 2 bee stings What is worse than 2 bee stings? The Holocaust What is worse than the Holocaust? 3 bee stings

thumb_up thumb_down -4

roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimers who are you?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops