Two hippos are in a lake with water up to their eyes. One of them then says, "i keep thinking it's tueday"

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Guns dont kill people...whoever pulled the trigger kills people

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Why didn't Jimmy ever get his butt of the couch? His butt was nailed to it and he was also dead. Why didn't his parents save him? they died before he did.

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What do you call a blind man on a jet ski? Dead.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra!

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How do you make an electrician cry? You kidnap him and his mother, tie them both to chairs in your garage, and force him to watch you stab his mother repeatedly in the face while laughing and licking up her blood and tears. Then cut his arms and legs off, lock him in a cage with his mothers body, and go in there everyday and eat a delicious meal while watching him starve to death next to his dead mother.

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What's worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings.

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i just got all five seasons of big bang theory in the mail for xmas... i'm divorcing my wife.

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WNBA

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? a lot.

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Why did the black guy not tip his pizza driver? Because he didn't order pizza.

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Why was 9 afraid of 10 because 10 was a registered sex offender

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How do you blind fold an asian? Dental floss!

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why was the man gay? Because its not a choice. its a lifestyle.

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What's black and hanging on a tree in my backyard? Blackberries.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Some dreams stay dreams, But some dreams come true. Some want to be god, They want to have made us. But I want to be an astronaught, So I can explore Uranus.

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What do you call Jake Morter? Jake Morter

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because 7 ate 9.

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what did meredith and nick have in common an i

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Jake likes to have tickle parties with McCauley Culkin.

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A black man, a mexican, and a muslim all jump off a building. Who hit the ground first? Who cares!

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What's the difference between jam and jelly? Jam is slightly more viscous and may contain bits of fruit.

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I slipped and fell in the shower today. Good thing my dad caught me

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Do you know what it looks like when you put a cat in the microwave for 3 minutes? I don't know either because I close my eyes when I masturbate.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops