what did Sandra bullock say to Jesse James? I hate your fickin a**!!:)

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A caar pllus itno a graege. You are probably dyslexic.

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Why wasn't the man talking? Because he was sleeping.

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What did one tube of glue say to the other tube of glue? Nothing. Inanimate objects, such as a tube of glue, however adhesive the contents of said objects are, are in no way capable of advanced speech, let alone basic communication.

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why did the black boy start crying when he was taking a dump? He thought he was melting

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Friends are like snowflakes, they go away when you pee on them.

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What's blue and smells like red paint. ............blue paint.

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Doctor, doctor, it hurts when I hit my head with a hammer!! Dont hit your head with a hammer anymore.

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I was flying in the sky but lost control and crashed. I woke up on the floor.

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its my money!, but i dont need it right away

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I had a really funny joke about a dead baby...but I threw it out

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Susan boyle has a belly button, Simon has a belly button, Because its only normal.

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How do white people screw in light bulbs? They read a manual.

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You know what isn't funny? Getting punched in the face. You know what is funny? Brittany Spears getting punched in the face.

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What's gray and comes in buckets? An elephant

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There once was a man from Nantucket But then he moved to Boston and changes his name to "man from Boston"

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How many people does it take to kill the president? A number

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what do mexicans enjoy eating? food.

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"You two form fours while I get the other one"

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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Whats the Twin Towers least favourite movie? Here Comes the Boom.

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What is worse than finding an Apple in your Worm? Watching your dog jumping of a cliff

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What's similar between my butthole and shampoo? They both smell good, except for by butthole.

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What do you call a dolphin that drives a Mercedes Benz? Nothing. Dolphins can't drive.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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