Q: Where did little Suzie go during the bombing? A:Everywhere

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What's the difference between the sky and the ocean? They're both blue

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I was at work today and whilst staring at my beautiful colleague I realised how hard it had got. So I quit

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What's the difference between a woman and a car? A woman is merely a useful object, whereas a car deserves love, care, and respect.

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What's the difference between a bird and a pool table? Both of them fly, except for the pool table.

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What happens when you divide by zero? According to the limits in Calculus, 1/x as x approaches 0 becomes closer to infinity, so we can safely conclude that if we could divide by zero, it would be a form of infinity. Positive infinity for 1/0, negative infinity for -1/0 and unsigned infinity for 0/0, as zero has no sign.

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Q: Who showed up at the dead soldier's funeral? A The Westboro Baptist Church...

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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how many babies does it take to paint a barn? depends on how hard you can throw them

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whats green at the bottom of a hole and covered in cookie crumbs a girl scout run over by a truck

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Why do all the Republicans hate Obama? He's a Democrat.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is a woman.

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A man went to the doctor, complaining about not feeling well after dancing the night before. The doctor quickly rushed to the surgeon to get ready for the liver transplant that had to take place.

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What do you call a lawyer without a brain? -Dead

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This is a stupid joke. Get it to the top of the list and Kobe Bryant will pass to you.

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What's black, white and red all over? A nun in a blender

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It couldn't handle the stress and pressure of being a duck so it committed suicide by crossing a road and therefor being run over by a car.

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What did the black man in a white 2007 Jeep Wrangler when he went over the speed limit? A speeding ticket

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roses are red and have big balls woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

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What did Little Timmy say when his house fell down? I'm not sure but that sounds like a very sad seen that I hope to never encounter in my personal experiences.

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why did the boy and girl go under the covers together? because they were cold

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Hey. I have to ask you a serious question. Okay. what? You can only answer with yes or no. Okay what is it? Do your parents know your gay? .....

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the koala.

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Why did the black guy get kicked out of school? Because he was poor academically.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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