Why did the Spice Girls stop performing? They mutually agreed to stop performing.

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yo mamas so fat she weighs a lot.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I wouldn't consider Mark a chicken. In fact, given the high speed and volume of cars traversing that particular road in both directions, I'd say it was a ballsy move. In hindsight, though, he probably should have waited for the "walk" symbol to appear for pedestrians, in order to avoid being run over by a bus. Anyway, if Pastor John would like to say a few words before we finally put Mark's body to rest...

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You're momma's so fat..Oh wait she's not.

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Is it colder on a farm than in the winter?

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A cow walks into the butcher shop, he looks around then mourns the loss of his brothers

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hey

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? She had no arms. *knock knock* -Who's there? -Not Suzy.

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whats the difference between a black guy and and an asian person... who cares kill them both

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yo mamas so old she probably ralises the greater risk of breast cancer in middle age women.

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What happened to the kid who couldn't swim? He drowned.

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Why doesn't it rain on Sundays? It does.

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knock knock! who is there? its knock! knock who??? knock knock... who is there.... i told you its knock... knock who??? knock knock... WHO IS THERE!! OMG I TOLD YOU ITS KNOCK! KNOCK WHO!! WHO IS KNOCK! KNOCK KNOCK OMG WTF! HOLY SHIT WHO IS THERE! ITS KNOCK WE HAVE KNOWN EACH OTHER OUR WHOLE LIVES! KNOCK WHO?? KNOCK KNOCK WHY DONT YOU REMEMBER ME! oh knock knock from next door! who is there???? jk.. knock...knock......omg put down the gun knock knock stop i love you knock its not worth it!! NO KNOC!!! GUNSHOT* KNOCK NOOOOO!!! I LOVED YOU SOMEONE CALL 911!! OMG KNOCK WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH KNOCK WHY!!!!

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Uh, summa lumma dooma lumma you assuming I'm a human What I gotta do to get it through to you I'm superhuman Innovative and I'm made of rubber, so that anything you say is Ricochet in off a me and it'll glue to you And I'm devastating more than ever demonstrating How to give a motherfuckin' audience a feeling like it's levitating Never fading, and I know that haters are forever waiting For the day that they can say I fell off, they'll be celebrating 'Cause I know the way to get 'em motivated

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How do you make a plumber sad? Steal his plums.

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im jacob, i have as much hair on my penis as mr macs head.....none.

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Why did the New York Times cancel Otis Redding's subscription? Because he died.

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Whats the best part about being alive? Not getting hit by a bus

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Q:Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? A:He slipped and fell. Q2:Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A2:He was stapled to the first monkey. Q3:Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A3:Peer pressure.

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what the difference between matthew and a retard? The retard can do math

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What is the difference between a dead baby and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

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roses are red, violets are blue.

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roses are red violets are blue we're having sex cause i'm stronger than you

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Why did the man commit suicide? Because he felt he had nothing left to live for

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops