Why does the Green Giant's vegetables taste funny? He stands over his peas and corn.

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why did the chicken cross the road?... it actually didn't

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FREE SEX! Now that I have your attention.............

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children burning

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Whats worse than being a 40 year old virgin? Being a 12 year old girl in Africa who gets raped everyday to feed her family.

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How do you keep an elephant from charging? Shoot it with a high powered gun right between the eyes.

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Whats the greatest part of buttsex the refrigerators

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How do you wake up lady gaga? Poke her face

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What would a prostitute do if she was given a million dollars? She would probably diversify her portfolio. First, she would pay her rent. She would buy some groceries and a present for her mother. She would then invest it in stocks and low-yield bonds. She would they buy a vehicle. This win might not affect her continuance in her job.

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Why did the gambler sell his house? Because he needed money to pay for male hookers.

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How does a girl with no arms swing on the swing? She doesn't, she has no arms.

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Justin Bieber.

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What do you call a man who buys flowers, chocolates, and new jewelry for his wife? A kind, considerate husband.

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I always wanted to know what the future will hold in the decades to come... Until I realized the idiotness of my own thought for it is nigh impossible for us humans to see the future... Except... That the ancient Mayan civilization prophesized the end of the universe, which I did take into consideration as I slowly nibbled my way through the waffle cone till I had realized that I had reached the paper surrounding the cone and immediately spat it out for it leaves a fowl taste In my mouth, then continued eating my ice cream as I pondered the future and the anti-climatic ending of this anti-joke.

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Your mother is a stupid bitch. For real.

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What is a homeless man for Halloween? A garbage bag

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Why are you so fat? Cause I eat a lot.

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What's the difference between a woman and a car? A woman is merely a useful object, whereas a car deserves love, care, and respect.

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I was at work today and whilst staring at my beautiful colleague I realised how hard it had got. So I quit

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Look whos talking Matt Critchley

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What's brown and sticky? The faeces of a glue stick.

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What's the difference between a bird and a pool table? Both of them fly, except for the pool table.

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What's the difference between Izzy and a hobo? Nothing...they both have no job and no friends

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please dis this joke, I want to get to the bottom of the leaderboard!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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