Dad: sussy, do you know how you were made? Sussy: No, how? Dad: With this DICK!!

The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of problems with money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

Why do Native Americans own Casinos? Because it's a very profitable business situation.

How do you stop a charging rhinocerous? Nuke africa.

A: Knock Knock B: Who's there? A: The Police. We have a warrant for your arrest.

A racist guy walks into a bar. Gets drunk, and cracks jokes. Then proceeds to get the shit kicked out of him.

There's a black, afghan, and a rhabi. Which one is Obama?

Why was 6 afraid of 7 7 was osama bin laden

Would anyone like to contribute to my slush fund?

I bought my daughter the Josef Fritzl advent calendar. The proceeds go towards abuse survivor charities.

Your dick is short, If we compare it to mine. That was it, Thank you for your time.

what did the african child get for his birthday? water, it is a very scare resource were he comes from and is considered a great present

What is big, red, and eats rocks? A big, red, rock eater!

You know I can, and I already have, as once the mind knows its getting certain medications, it spends the energy required in order to achieve the effect, this is what psychiatrists and those assholes would call "psychological effect". With that said, I am still tired, and the stimulants are waking up my ouchies too, so I think ill get some sleep and dont worry, I can sleep with any stimulants as long as I can use my mind. By the way, my "hypnosis senses" are not hypnosis by themselves, but in order to hypnotize oneself and other, one must learn to read body language and stuff like that, something which I now do subconciously because I am experienced. Alice is calm again, her hands are shaking but she is cold, I am pretty sure she is far more tired than I am, so I kinda ordered her to go home, this guy can type for me. Just want you to know that I am doing fine now, and that the PTSD is much less severe than before as my brain no longer remembers the voice and looks my parents had back then, so I just feel my nose getting punched and breaking, its... Surprisingly annoying, so ill get some sleep, if nothing else it will help Alice get better, and I wont lie, I need it.

Why doesn't Michael Jackson like toast? Because he's dead.

Roey Jegen

A cat jumped out of a tree. It died.

What did the tomato say to the ketchup? Nothing both vegetables and condiments are inanimate objects, therefore cannot speak

Roxanne's hat looks like a condom

Why did the white bartender kick out a black man and his Mexican friend out of the bar? It was closing time

Is your refrigerator running? If so, you are on drugs, and should see help.

do you like walffles?Yes I like walffles!

A man walks into a bar and says "ouch".

How do you kill a blonde? You stab her.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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