- I'm in my mum's car, broom broom. - Get out me car. - Aw.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Hitler wasn't that bad... He DID kill Hitler.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

roses are red and violets are in fact violet

thumb_up thumb_down -2

i once thought i could do crytal meth but then i thought naw better not

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What has a black, blue, and red all over? Timmy. He was mugged, and vigorously raped.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

After tesco's horse burgers, what's next? My lidl pony

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Roses are grey Violets are grey I live in Africa Give me water

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why was the man dress in a suit ? He had a job

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Did you hear the one about the man who fell asleep on the job? He woke up.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock Knock Sorry, I'm in a full body cast and can't answer the door.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How do you get McFly into a Mini? McFly are a four member band and a mini has four seats so it's actually quite straightforward.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock, knock. Who's there? HIVs.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

a white kid is called on by his teacher he is promptly sent to the principle's office after not complying.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Roses are red Violets are blue That's what they tell me Because I'm blind

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's worse than hell? I would say the Holocaust, but they're both the same for the Jews.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

what does a man with no leg say to a woman with one eye? hello. by Mad James

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A woman buys a man a Valentine's Day present.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

why are tree's green cause that's how god made it

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? The answer is not definitive and involves several factors including the size of the woodchuck, the woodchuck's teeth, the climate in which that woodchuck lives, and the tenacity of that particular woodchuck at achieving his goal.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

a man walks into a bar after a long day at work, and asks for a drink. he finishes, pays the bill and leaves a handsome tip for the bartender and heads home.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Are you a psychopath? Take this short quiz. Q1. You live in an apartment building (about 10~15 stories). You were a student studying for an exam, but decided to take some rest. You looked out the window and witnessed a man killing a girl. The man saw you and moved his finger in a certain motion. Just from the information given, what do you think the man was doing with his finger? Q2. Someone is in front of you. Who is that person? Q3. There is a portrait of a man who went to war. He was injured in two places. Where was he injured? (List the two places he was injured.) Q4. A little boy received a bike and a soccer ball for presents. But the boy hated them. Why didn't the boy like the two presents? Q5. You're a thief. You broke into someone's house. The owner of the house saw you; you have no choice but to kill the owner. But the owner hid inside the closet. How are you going to kill the owner? Q6. You're a twin (and you're a girl). You were born before your twin sister. Your grandma recently passed away and you guys had to hold a funeral for her. At the funeral, you saw a handsome, young man. You fell deeply in love him... But, you killed your twin sister. Why did you kill your twin sister? Q7. You live in an apartment. You were watching TV, but someone was knocking hard on the door. You looked through the peephole and there was a man who was holding a knife. What are you going to do? Q8. You're the youngest member of the family. You saw your mom, dad, brother, sister, etc. die right in front of your eyes. But you stood still or did nothing. Why did you? Q9. You were very thirsty. You decided to get a drink from the vending machine. What color drink did you choose? ---------------------------------------------------- A1. Normal: Memorizing your face to kill you. Psychopath: Counting what floor you live in. A2. Normal: Murderer/Criminal Psychopath: a landowner A3. Normal: Whatever the psychopath didn't say... Psychopath: Eyes and chest A4. Normal: Already own it or hate it Psychopath: Doesn't have legs A5. Normal: Stick a knife inside and kill the owner. Psychopath: Wait in front of the closet until the owner come it. A6. Normal: To see that handsome, young man again. Psychopath: To have that man all to yourself. A7. Normal: Do not open the door. Psychopath: Open the door, take the knife away from the man and stab him. A8. Normal: You were going to die anyway, too. Psychopath: Because you were bribed. A9. Normal: Red, blue, orange, etc. Psychopath: White, clear

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Once a upon of time, there was 7 dwarfs. Their names are Sleepy, Stupid, Sexy, Shithead, Sonovabitch, Shutup, and Simon. They are a street gang called the 7 dwarfs and was notorious for causing trouble. All the dwarfs got away from the police except for Simon, because that was his real name.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Whats funnier than 24? 25

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's worse than losing one of your socks? Being jewish during the holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops