you are a åsshole :)

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Shit... Shit who? Wrong house... Do I know you Shitt Ronghouse? Yes. Please come in. Okay.

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an ant walks into my aunt.... the ant took a dump

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If you were in a room with Osama bin Laden, Hitler, and a black guy and you had two bullets, who would you shoot? Personally, I'm a peaceful person. I'd let Hitler figure it out.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Come out with your hands up.

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What's the difference between a bag of dead babies and a Ferrari? I have a bag of dead babies in my garage.

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Yo mama so ugly, she has to work harder than most women to attract men.

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What is black and white and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

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four little monkeys jumping on the bed... one fell of and bumped his head... mama called the doctor and the doctor said... im calling child protection services.

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a little boy takes his lacrosse stick to his mom and says "hey mom this is bob" the mom says "hi bob" and she says to her son "does bob say hi back?" and the boy says "no mom. hes a lacrosse stick."

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Q. What is small, ugly and severely asthmatic? A. My younger brother. Jimmy.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Well babies don't have the strength or coordination to hold a paint brush, so you may need to call some painters.

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Your mama is so....well we've been friends since childhood and I know your mother passed away recently. So, as to refrain from being an insensitive jerk to a good friend. I will tell this joke to someone with a mother who is fat, dumb, lazy, ugly, or has a combination of these traits. Or has none of these and happens to be a nice lady with a son/daughter who just enjoys a good mama joke.

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What did the French-Italian couple name their child? Angelo Pierre Smith, giving tribute to the father's uncle Angelo, and the mother's great-grandfather, Pierre.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His sons funeral was on the other side.

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i like my women like i like my coffee without a penis

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The screams were loud. It was just one big fire behind him. He and his fellow chickens had been trapped. They thought they were being freed... They thought wrong. The guards herded them in and then the heat started. The fires began to rage. His friends, his allies, his brothers, were falling dead, burning, beside him. He had to escape. He did not think, only acted. Lashing out at the guard, he knocked him down and ran. He ran and ran until he could run no more, and he still kept running. He could still hear his brothers' screams. He could still see their faces burning before his eyes. He reached the road, and finally stopped. He looked around. The screams had stopped. The heat had left his body. But then another sound came. Yelling. The guards. They were following him. He tried to keep running. But he just couldn't. He was finished. He fell on the road, sliding himself along as quickly as he could. He hadn't run this far to be caught by the guards. He stopped. He could go no further. He looked up and saw the blue sky, cloudless and free. The last thing he heard was a roaring engine. The guards never found his body.

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10 people walk into a bar. 6 hours later, 3 more people walk into the bar. There are now 12 people in the bar, and one corpse in the dumpster out back.

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What the small boy with no arms or legs get fro christmas???? cancer

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What did the fat girl say to the good looking guy? Nothing. She didn't have the self-confidence to go up to him.

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Look how far I can kick this bucket

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Why is paper white? Cause that's how they make paper.

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ROSES ARE RED, VIOLETS ARE BLUE, WITHOUT MY HEART I CANNOT LOVE YOU

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Tiger Woods isn't a Tiger, He's a lion cheeta.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops