rose's are red, bananas are yellow, yo mama's so fat she jiggles like jello

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What looks like a chair but isn't? A picture of a chair.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? not having an apple to find a worm im

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q: What Would You Call Someone Who is 6 Foot and hairy. Answer: By His Or Her Name.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why was the little girl sad? Because she was brutally raped up the ass

thumb_up thumb_down +19

1: What do you call your car door when it's opened slightly? 2: I don't know. What? 1: Ajar! 2: A jar? 1: No. Ajar. 2: But it's a door. 1: Just forget it.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Whats long, hard, and has cum in it? Cucumber

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did suzy fall of the swing? -she had no arms... Why couldn't she get back up? -she had no friends

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How do you drown a blonde? Well there are a few ways, including holding her head underwater until she passes out and then leaving her in the pool.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

If life throws you lemons, you might be dislexic

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the chicken cross the road? There I no road.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Want to hear a funny joke? Womens rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

whats black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white? a penguin rolling down the hill. what black and white and laughing? the penguin that pushed him.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

what did the caterpillar say to the butterfly? Im gonna turn into you.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did one tube of glue say to the other tube of glue? Nothing. Inanimate objects, such as a tube of glue, however adhesive the contents of said objects are, are in no way capable of advanced speech, let alone basic communication.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What color is red paint? Red

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did hitler say to the bartender? Nothing he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A homeless man walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says it'll be $4.50. The homeless man doesn't have any money so he leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What is worse than The Holocaust? That's a difficult question to answer. The term "worse" is highly subjective. It really all depends on your own personal experiences, your ethnicity, and cultural background.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why do Mexicans get made fun of? Because they are Mexican

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Hey Shea

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did Suzy fall off the swing? Because Suzy had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops