Why are old people such terrible drivers? As we age, our eyesight slowly deteriorates and our reflexes become slower. So, in order to be cautious, the elderly avoid high speed chases and such to maintain their and others safety. Or they could have alzheimers and not realize they are in a moving vehicle at all, it's really a tossup

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak and will have her institutionalized as soon as they find her.

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what is fat, sweaty, and italian? Italians

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How come Hellen keller is blind and deaf? Cause she is a women.

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why'd the baby cross the road it was stapled to the chicken

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i got 5 Fingers, the middle ones for you ?

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What do you get when you cross a blonde with a dinosaur? Beastiality

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a truck.

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Whats an Anti Joke

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What did the father say to his gay son? "Finish your homework."

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How do you burn a lot of calories? Set a fat kid on fire.

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Friend: "Hey man! Did you hear about the kid who bought the last hamster at the pet shop? Other friend: "No..." Friend: "Oh, well he shot himself last night."

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"We all miss somebody a lot every now and then, its only human! But never give up, just keep reloading and firing until you hit that somebody!" Moral: Moral, answer me, MORAL MOOOOORAAAAAAAAL! DUN DU DURUN, DUN DUN DUN! *gunshot* (The moral section just because I love them red thumbs ^^)

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Dave: My wife just gave birth! The baby is doing good. John: You mean doing well?

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you know whats not funny? the Holocaust

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What happened the the blonde that went swimming? She cooled off and enjoyed a hot summer day.

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ADAM SAS IS A GREAT GUY!

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Q: Why was the blonde disappointed with her trip to England? A: She found out Big Ben was only a clock

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What do you call a giggling penguin? Personification.

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Why couldn't Harry Potter get a job at Mc Donalds? Because he isn't real.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven has a hook for one of his hands carries a chain saw in the other an gets into six's dreams...thats just scary

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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