Q: Why didn't the little boy get his bike for christmas? A: He died from cancer

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

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I was Born ready I was born naked.

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If she is old enough to bleed, she probably uses tampons.

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Why did the baker turn off the oven? He had run out of business

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A blonde walks into a bar a uses the restroom. She needed to pee.

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hey

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Why is 6 afraid of 7. Because 7 is a registered sex offender.

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I'm a white rapper I do it all the time Folks don't like me cuz my words don't match

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roses are red violets are blue i have a big dick unlike you

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How did the two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for half an hr? They didn't and they died.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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I have read and agree to the Terms of Service.

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A hispanic lesbian couple accidentally walk into a country western themed bar. And leave immediately as a bar is no place for their 2 year old son.

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"knock knock" "Come in"

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Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? What's up. What's up who? The sky.

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a horse walkes into a bar... never mind that's just Sarah Jessica Parker

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MAGHBERRY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. and Asians are yellow.

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Why did Billy start crying? Because he was abandoned at a young age- and was bullied since childhood in the orphanage.

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politically correct!

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Uh, summa lumma dooma lumma you assuming I'm a human What I gotta do to get it through to you I'm superhuman Innovative and I'm made of rubber, so that anything you say is Ricochet in off a me and it'll glue to you And I'm devastating more than ever demonstrating How to give a motherfuckin' audience a feeling like it's levitating Never fading, and I know that haters are forever waiting For the day that they can say I fell off, they'll be celebrating 'Cause I know the way to get 'em motivated

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You so dumb that you weighed 100 pounds and ate a peanut and weighed 500 pounds!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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