What's worse than having cancer? Two people having cancer

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven, or have you been in a wheelchair all your life?

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Q: What's white, black, and red all over? A: The yellow brick road

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? The Holocost

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What did the bear say to the mouse? Roar.

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A: We're eating you for breakfast today. B: Thank you, I'll have my arm.

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Why did the witch stay up all night with a broken broomstick? Because she couldn't sweep.

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Jason Connor.

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" ding dong " person in side: wait aren't u supposed to knock knock

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How did the man with no legs get around? He was assisted by a nurse or relative who was kind enough to take on such a task.

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Two Irish men walks out of a bar

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A bar walks into a man... Wait...

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a women. Statutory rape.

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Why does Courtney smell? she has a severe lack of personal hygiene which needs addressing,

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Aodhan peanut head Hearty

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Why did Hayden Bryant walk down the street? Because he can, dont doubt Hayden Bryant.

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Why couldn't the Egyptian pharaoh solve the Rubik's Cube? He didn't know how.

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? Nothing. He celebrates Kwanzaa.

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Why was the blonde sent to prison? Well there could be a number of reasons, but I for one do not know this specific blonde so I can not help you.

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Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees an officer standing on a street corner and a pile of burning rubble behind him. He asks the officer what happened and he replies "A bomb fell from the sky and annihilated the city orphanage. 214 children were killed and two nearby families of 3 and 6 were severely injured and are now in the hospital with no hope of survival." The man was found dead later that week with a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head.

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A man walks by with a bat. A little girl crosses the street. He hits her with it because she is a little shit. A homeless atheist sees and reports it immeaditately to the authorities because it was child abuse.

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Why was the pig sweating? It wasnt, because pigs have adapted by using behavioral thermoregulation, which is the act of cooling themselves in the mud or water.

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A dyslexic woman goes into a saloon and asks for a hair cut. Oh right, she doesn't have hair! Then why the f*** would she enter the saloon? Because she wanted to get her nails done. But she doesn't have nails either, and she doesn't want to drink. She came there because she wanted to hook up with a guy!

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Hey, so I know this guy who knows this guy,who knows this guy,who knows this guy,who knows this guy,who knows this guy,who knows this guy,who knows this guy,who knows this guy's cousin who's name is Mark.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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